Worth, venting, and loneliness

So I am here, in this moment. Feeling extremely lonely and hopeless. Is there anyone in the world to confirm my worth?

Relationship... Can't even dream about it, so impossible it looks. I can't leave my flat, where would I find any new acquaintances? Not to mention a more connected relationship. And this low esteem... Yes, my body was ridiculed all my life, by my parents, grandparents etc. I guess, I've given in and abandoned my body whatsoever. No chance on dating apps, they look like world of endless toxicity towards anyone who does not look like a model/celebrity. And world of ghosting for men. First, every woman asks to write to her first. And never ever responds. What is the point?
Huh, it's a joke that SSRIs I take severely harm my libido. Therefore, at least not so much left of sexual needs... But, is it enough to compensate such attention starvation???
Is there anyone to confirm my worth as a relationship partner? Will there be?

Work, employment... I am a successful software engineer with two decades of experience... I have solved each and every problem thrown at me. And these problems are still solved! And they more often than not were vell above my paygrade. No matter, I have done my job and had success. How come I can't find a new job? Yes, I am 38 now and it not helps in IT full of ageism and ego. And I had a long 3 years restoring after extreme burnout (well, in part thanks to a difficult case of COVID). I understand that may put off employers. But I have never abandoned technology! For what it is worth, I am much better after the break and can bring so much to the table! Are there so many passionate employees who are always willing to do what it takes and bring success? And able to much my level of system analysis and thinking out of the box? Yes, Ukraine is considered a risky market right now, with war and draft. But we have never asked anything like US salary for the comparable or better expertise (not comparing to the top US talent)!
Is there anyone to confirm my worth in life? Will there be?

Am I worth anything at all? Will I?

Hi @ogyogm, I'm so sorry that you're at this low point. I can relate to ageism in the world of technology.

"Is there anyone to confirm my worth in life?" Yes, the best person to do this is...





Are you ready?





You're not going to believe it.





The best person to confirm your worth in life is YOU!

Thanks @SquarePegGuy. I do know that worth is coming from within yourself.

It looks like I am not that good with words as I want to be. What I lack now and what I really crave is external validation of myself. I tried to put into words two biggest problems with my self-esteem: no relationship and no job.

I've been in that space. It's difficult, I know. It won't last forever, though. All the best!