getting stuck in an emotion

sometimes i feel as though someone has pushed the repeat button on an emotion i'm feeling. i really don't understand why this is. anyone have a clue why i would get stuck in feeling my emotions sometimes? it's like i can't let go of or move thru pain sometimes and all i know to do is then distract myself.

Hi Bloom

Sounds very normal to me, I do the same thing but find that if I talk about what I am feeling and just keep chattering, it seems to jump from being an emotion to me thinking more rationally.

On my thread on here Sanity posted a few very useful links check then out.

Hey Bloom

I hate when that happens!!! But I've learned too, that when it does happen, it means there is something more to it that I have to figure out. There are times when I had worked on an emotion and I felt better only to have it come back again because there was something more within it to work on. Could that possibly be what's happening for you too?

Hope you get through it soon!


sabby

hi sabby. i have that happen as well but in the situations i'm thinking of i have trouble just letting go of the emotion the first time around. i tend to think i should have gotten over an issue but it's like i'm stuck in it. usually once it's gone i'm okay and it doesn't come back if something small.

maybe what belle said is something i need to work on more. maybe i need to express it somehow. maybe then i can let it go. i'm not sure. i'm kind of clueless about emotions sometimes.

I hear ya Bloom. Peeling away that onion is not easy to do, besides it can tear you up and make your nose run

Sounds like you will make progress though. The first thing is recognizing, the second thing is talking and thinking about it, the third thing is acceptance and the fourth thing is action to change.

I get stuck in emotions too... And I'm finding they're usually negative emotions... Like.. panic, anxiety, anger, just being plain ol' upset. And like Sabby said, the four steps? Well, I get stuck at the second one. I think about it, talk about it, journal about it, until I'm blue in the face and then some. After awhile, nobody really wants to hear about the same old thing I'm still stuck on, especially when the only real answers are "Forgive and Forget" or simply "Move on." Sometimes I think I have moved on, but something will trigger me and I get stuck in the cycle all over again.

I don't have any advice to give you on how to not do what I do, but I did want you to know you're not alone. I'm starting to read Codependent No More, not be cause I think I'm codependent, but I have a feeling that the skills she talks about in that book might still be useful for me in letting go of past hurts and such and start concentrating on making myself happy. We shall see. I think my next self-help book purchase will be something along the lines of learning to forgive which I'm thinking might also help free me from emotional ties preventing me from moving on and being happy...

Hehe, sorry this got so long.. I talk too much

sometimes and all i know to do is then distract myself...
i distract myself too and it helps to stop the ruminating thoughts/emotions. i find it gives my mind a rest and then often times i find i can work through that pain easier cause i'm refreshed.

I think it depends on the emotion and the cause of the emotional reaction. One of my major 'over-comings' was to validate my right to express myself, especially if it is contrary to someone else's view of how I should act or think. My ex used to say I always over-react to everything. Since BP does trigger hyper emotional response sometimes I bought into his assessment and over the years stiffling my feelings took a greater and greater toll on me.

It wasn't until I was able to say 'BP aside I have a voice and I have a right to express my feelings about this and to talk about why I feel this way'. This empowered me to find a way to put a voice to my emotion. What caused me to get angry? What part of that is valid and requires others to hear about it, or make an adjustment. What causes me to feel sad? What part is valid and requires others to hear and what adjustment or accommodation could they make or what can they do help me deal with the sense of sadness.

To prevent myself from getting absorbed by the emotion I try to figure out what is the real issue and how do I address that rather then getting stuck in the feelings. The feeling is there to get my attention is sort of how I look at it. Getting lost in the emotion, melting down, raging, blaming, feeling sorry for myself, dwelling, adding insult to injury... those responses don't work. They only magnify the feeling and never bear any light on the real issues for me. They only come back again and again without ever exposing any understanding.

Asking the emotions 'hey what is up with this?' has become a useful question for me to ponder when an emotions overwhelms me. Sometimes its easy to figure out. I know the trigger. Finding a resolution can be the tricky part. Sometimes it means reprogramming my thinking, sometimes it means employing a coping mechanism and sometimes it means using my voice to talk about it with whoever in tangled in the emotion.