[lynn P.]

My daughter has been verbally bullied on the bus last week. The bus was crowded and unfortunately she had to sit with this boy. He called her names like lesbian, you're a ***** and referred to her as 'the ****'. She told me this last night and she didn't want to go on the bus this morning.

She visited her friend on Friday and they with a few girl pals went for icecream. This boy along with another boy and girl saw her group and again he started following and saying the same things. He even follwed them to the icecream place and an employee asked him to leave.

I just spoke to the principle and told her everything and she's going to try and deal with this. I'm very disappointed that society has reached this point, where there's no respect at all with some people. At this point I fear for her safety but I also fear for his because my daughter's a brown belt. She's so upset, I think she might beat him up if he says something bad.

I think society is at an all time low. I would never tolerate anyone speaking to me this way - yet an almost 13 yr old is trapped, having to listen to this dispicable language.

[lotusflames]

sorry but i had\ to laugh when you said you feared for his safety! And go your daughter for being a brown belt!

Now, on to the issue.

You did the right thing talking to the school.

Can't help but wonder if he's calling her these names cos he likes her. backwards i know but that's kids for you.

At the moment, all you can do is be there for your daughter. do you know his parents? If you do, i really suggest you try and talk to them about what he's saying cos they probably dont know.

[lynn P.]

Originally Posted by lotusflames

sorry but i had\ to laugh when you said you feared for his safety! And go your daughter for being a brown belt!

Now, on to the issue.

You did the right thing talking to the school.

Can't help but wonder if he's calling her these names cos he likes her. backwards i know but that's kids for you.

At the moment, all you can do is be there for your daughter. do you know his parents? If you do, i really suggest you try and talk to them about what he's saying cos they probably dont know.

Thanks lotusflames - no I don't know his parents, but I don know where he lives though. The principle said she's going to talk to his parent/s. He's also verbally bullying the boy bus patrol - calling him fag repeatedly.

Regarding his safety - I wonder if a bully happens to get puched out for calling names - would this teach him a lesson? I'm just flabberghasted at the nerve of him. I honesty would never be able to call anyone these words.

I know what you mean about maybe he likes her - I'm thinking no, because boys at this age will come up and say "hey you want to go out with me"? She feels he hates her. At the elementary level it usually mean the boy likes the girl.

I hope the principle manages to convince him to keep quiet because I'm not about to give up.

[lotusflames]

hmm i guess we're not going to work out what's going on so just have to hope that the principle can sort things out.

part of me thinks if she punched him he'd deserve it but at the same time, she'd probably get in trouble for it

[Belle1979]

I have to add a post

I had a similar situation when I was a teenager. A guy had called me 'slut' and other names for about a week after I broke up with his friend. I put up with it and even an older guy friend talked to him - told him to stop.
It didn't stop and in the end the guy said to me "what can't you fight your own battles" (after the other friend had told him to stop)... Well I laid into him.. I had been doing kickboxing for years and never used it in anger before...
I really did work him over - a teacher came up and said "that's enough Belinda" and that was that. The teacher had been aware of what had been happening.

From then on he never spoke to me let alone call me names

But I am not suggesting that as a solution.

Hello, Lynn. I hope you and your daughter are able to get this matter sorted. This guy has some serious issues to deal with. His parents will need to get involved to help him resolve them. Unfortunately, often attitudes like the boy presents are learned at home. If his parents are the source of his turpitude, a restraining older may be required.

[lynn P.]

Thanks ((Belle1979)) and ((Byz)). I'm not one for violence either Belle but sometimes there's no other way to stop the abuse and good for you for standing up for yourself. My daughter knows to restrain herself only for times of defense and I knew she was holding herself back. When I called the principle yesterday - I was very honest and said something has to happen quickly because I sense strongly this is going to get physical. I told her very openly I feared for her but more so for him because she's a gold medal winner and can do serious damage.

The principle told me she would speak to the boy and call his parent/s. When my daughter came home she said the boy, on his own said he was sorry and she accepted it and agreed to be peaceful. I'm happy it seems to be solved and obviously the principle must have said something very effective to get this result. She's a woman and I know she was very upset with what he called my daughter. Thanks again for everyones support.

[OrangeMoira]

I'm so glad it worked out. It's great that you have such a good relationship with your daughter that she came to you for help instead of putting a hurt on the bully.

[lynn P.]

I'm happy to say my daughter, didn't have any problems with this boy yesterday on the bus - he didn't say a word or even look at her. That's how it should be.

[Miracle1986]

Glad to hear that lynn