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  #1  
Old Oct 29, 2010, 04:46 PM
objtrbit's Avatar
objtrbit objtrbit is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 328
Oh man; so I'm one of those people who likes to take care of others and keep people at a safe distance by treating friends like "clients".
I am currently working on my bachellors degree and will eventually get my doctorate and become a psychoanalyst. However, I feel myself falling apart, and have been avoiding this site for my health, I take on way too much, but at the time it feels okay.

Now that I put that out there, I fear how others here will take me, because 99% I'm on here to give support and learn in general. If I do give support, I think I do it to not only help people but escape my own issues as well; what a cycle.

LOL I just stopped typing this and almost deleted it cuz a roommate just came in needed someone to talk to; oye, why do I do this to myself, yet who else do these people have to turn to? I find myself unable to say "I can't talk right now". Today is especially ridiculous....I had my cell phone on me when I went to my psychologist-a friend needed to talk to me, so I did....until I only had 20 minutes remaining out of my own time with a psychologist. I couldn't just not help this person, she's like me, always gives support but never gets it. Man, whatta I do?

I feel like "so what, you're gonna be on call 24/7 when you establish your career, quit whining!".....but the truth is, I'm watching myself get sloppy,
I end up talking about my own life when I'm trying to help someone else, and eventhough it does relate- it does nothing for them-they need someone to listen to them. Also, my counter transference is high with whoever I talk to, I find myself arguing with them. I think the worst slip up I've been making is giving advice...I'm so against that, I believe if a person talks through something enough, they can reach a conclusion that is suitable and correct for them, on their own, through their own workthrough. In otherwords, I've started "directing the session" too much.

oye....I'm in my own little psychology world over here, bllllaaaahhh.

I can't "just stop" helping people, but I realize I've been doing it more for me then for them lately. I'd never tell my friends this, cuz then they would be too afraid to open up. I know there are people out there who have this problem! And I always think those of you who do this too-and always wish there was a counsellor for counsellors....and then one for them too!
Jeez, lol!

Take care,
-obj

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  #2  
Old Oct 31, 2010, 08:28 PM
Belle1979's Avatar
Belle1979 Belle1979 is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2009
Location: Perth Australia
Posts: 1,193
I enjoy giving advice...becuase it takes my mind off my own troubles but also because I genuinely like helping and hate when I know people are feeling down.

I have learn (through therapy) that I can only give so much before i am just burnt out... you have to save a little bit of yourself for you.
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Thanks for this!
objtrbit
  #3  
Old Nov 03, 2010, 07:02 AM
TheByzantine
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Posts: n/a
Hello, objtrbit. The information that follows is not directly on point but may be helpful.

http://psychcentral.com/stress/
http://www.strengthforcaring.com/man...s-a-caregiver/
http://www.caregiver.com/articles/pr..._to_say-no.htm
Thanks for this!
objtrbit
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