[darkpurplesecrets]

How does one deal with the sadness and feelings of loss when you are faced with realizations for the first time and the feelings that you belong no where? For the first time feelings of total aloneness and sadness over my childhood are hitting in waves and it feels as though I am being pulled away from myself. I feel that I could sink and disappear as though no one would know.

A part of myself hurts more than I can say and those things that are coming for myself and those within feels like they are pulling us under fast. Tears have fallen more than any other time and it feels I am drowning. Words seem to stop and yet are there just not able to bring them down. Everything feels black and white with no color. And I wonder if what I would say is anything of what I cannot say.

dps

[Gus1234U]

aaah Dear {{{{DPS}}} ,, there is no feeling quite like grief. yet afterwards it's like the storm has passed, a great calm may come, so profound you barely remember the faded past... this i hope for you~!! all my love ~~ Gus

[notablackbarbie]

Originally Posted by darkpurplesecrets

How does one deal with the sadness and feelings of loss when you are faced with realizations for the first time and the feelings that you belong no where? For the first time feelings of total aloneness and sadness over my childhood are hitting in waves and it feels as though I am being pulled away from myself. I feel that I could sink and disappear as though no one would know.

A part of myself hurts more than I can say and those things that are coming for myself and those within feels like they are pulling us under fast. Tears have fallen more than any other time and it feels I am drowning. Words seem to stop and yet are there just not able to bring them down. Everything feels black and white with no color. And I wonder if what I would say is anything of what I cannot say.

dps

There are too many times when i feel this way too...especially when i then compare myself to others, on top of looking inward and reflecting. Be honest with the feelings... and somehow look out and enjoy possible blessings too. From accomplishments to positive traits to simply being able to enjoy the sunshine I am sorry that you are struggling right now...

Hello, darkpurplesecrets. In my view, you belong where you are, a relatively safe place. You have the choice of gaining a greater sense of belonging by venturing into the community - when you are ready.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...do-they-belong
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...auma-and-abuse
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...do-they-belong
[PDF] Complex Trauma in Children and Adolescents - Complex Trauma2.pmd
SMA-3717.pdf
SMA-3716.pdf
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/ment...nal_health.htm

[billieJ]

{{{{{{{{{{dps}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Know that you are truly loved and cared about by those who know you and those, like me, who remember you from the beginnings of PC membership. You are special, and nothing is coming that we, with help from what we depend on, cannot face and overcome. You are very special to many of us.
Blessings,
billieJ

[brittfly]

Dear DPS, I don't know exactly what u r going through but i do know u r struggling so greatly for awhile now. I have told u hold on before.... maybe that sounds so trivial... but i have found in this world of DID if u can hold on there is a light waiting for u in life. A new way of being feeling.. .new truths .. new layers new ways of understanding and not just holding on but living and having joy. True joy!!! I belive there is true joy ahead of u .... get through these horrible waves that feel like they want to drown u... and there will be a new place.... there will be!!! It may not be the end of the journey but there will be a new place that is BETTER... each time.... BEtter.. diffferent.... i believe with my whole heart this journey is worth it. I will hold this thought for u... what u r going through is hell.. but is worth it and there will be another side... reach out.. talk to people.. help people... get safe... feel safe...sleep... eat... and there is a sunrise ... i promise... i believe for u.. if u cannot believe right now!!!!

Hugs to u.... HOLD ON!!!! Life will get better...