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#1
Jan 30, 2011, 01:46 PM
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He just expects me to be able to open up to him like he can open up to me. He says he understands Im a very gaurdered person. I just get so fustrated, I don't know how or what to tell him half the time. And then I get anngry and I "fly off the handle". Were not even going out I don't get why he ****ing cares so much. Its just a hook as he says, but then i'll hold it against him and he denys it saying were just good friends, who happen to make out...*sigh* Hes a good guy but I taking something so great and Im turning it around bad. He can barely talk to me at this point, and this is second time "ive ended things with us" (i gave him back his sweatshirt, that i wear all the time). Ive tried explaining things, but he goes on saying he doesnt need this, he needs someone who can open up to him like he opens up to them. I have done so much for him and, i dont even know anymore. what am i supposed to do anymore. nothings making sence. i know im just ranting but im just so fustrated and confused. I just wish he understood how i felt but i dont even know how i feel and im jsut so overwellemed, i feel alseep crying last night. i cant even get out of bed. I feel so numb, like all i can do is feel regret and cry.The only reason i was afraid to tell him anything was i was afraid of being judged. everytime he asked me if i was feeling okay or if something was wrong i would just say i was fine and he told me he didnt beleive me but i just ignored it and flashed him and smile and continued as we went.
I don't know anymore, im just so tired and emontionaly drained.
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I Took The Road Less Traveled... Now Where The Hell Am I... Promises are just lies we believe... And lies are just stories you've heard before and know the ending by heart "Just the record the weather today is slightly sarcastic with a good chance of A. indifference or B. disinterest in what the critics say..." [This is the year to rethink those choice and make the best of them... Staying clean] |
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#2
Jan 30, 2011, 10:48 PM
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Your emotional roller coaster sounds perfectly "normal" for someone who is depressed.
  Anger is a key element in depression. Try to find someone "neutral" to talk with about what you really want in life, and how to make some goals to get there.
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#3
Feb 01, 2011, 10:23 AM
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HUGS! Hang in there!!!!!
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#4
Feb 03, 2011, 07:47 PM
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I finally have come to terms in how he is to much drama for me to handle and that I need some time to collect myself first. I have to much going on in my life to focus on other people and let there drama weigh me down. I'm gonna try and help myself for a little why, put myself back together. For now Im just gonna focus on my happiness and my school work. :]
__________________
I Took The Road Less Traveled... Now Where The Hell Am I... Promises are just lies we believe... And lies are just stories you've heard before and know the ending by heart "Just the record the weather today is slightly sarcastic with a good chance of A. indifference or B. disinterest in what the critics say..." [This is the year to rethink those choice and make the best of them... Staying clean] |
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