[LittleForgetMeNot]

I finally have a word for how I feel around my little brother. He's suffocating. He asks a hundred questions, he talks constantly, he follows you around and demands to know where you're going, even if you just stand up and stretch. If I wanna go watch tv he wants to watch tv, if I wanna play video games by myself he wants to play video games. if I wanna go out he wants to go out. He's big for his age and being around him.. it makes me feel so suffocated, like I don't have any room to breathe.

I realized now that part of my staying home and skipping school is because when you feel suffocated 24/7, when there is constant noise and yelling and banging and tantrums.. 6 hours of complete silence in a house all your own is paradise.

Today was especially hard. Every time Kyle came near me, as soon as he would leave the opposite of the room that panicky, claustrophobic, anger would come out. I got a headache and I was close to tears. I needed a full 7 foot distance from him and I. Any closer and I'd start freaking out.

I have no idea how to deal with this. I hate being this way because when I tell him to leave me alone and be quiet I feel I'm being a horrible sister. I know he doesn't mean it, he can't help it, it's who he is and he doesn't understand. I can see I hurt his feelings when I snap, but.. I can't help it either..

[madisgram]

have u spoken to your parents about this?

[lynn P.]

How old is your little brother LittleForgetMeNot? This is a very common problem and some ground rules and boundaries might work - these have to be implemented by you, your parents and your brother. Firstly little siblings look up to their older siblings and he wants to be around you. The main thing I think is wrong is....... he's bored - he needs activities to occupy himself but he also needs some one on one time with you and your parents.

This is the plan - you/parents explain that you need a certain amount of solitary time and you also need solitude for homework but you cut him a deal - the deal is...he gives you that time but you tell him you'll play with him and really have fun. I understand you're older and my daughters 13 and the younger one is 9 - so I understand how the younger wants to play but the older one struggles to relate. That's okay, just make the effort to play and relate to him.

It also sounds like your parent needs to enforce more discipline, so he can't continue to irk you. I can understand how both you and your brother feel because I go through this challenge with my own girls difference in ages. I had a couple great brothers who were really nice to me when I was younger and I still appreciate what they did for me...how they made the effort. So I'm hinting at a little patience from you and he really just wants someone to give him some good attention. You can be his hero - it's all a matter of how you look at it. I hope it gets better and you get the peace you deserve.

[salukigirl]

I'm sure my older brother and sister probably felt the same way about me. I do understand what you mean about just needing silence. Sometimes I just go and drive around the neighborhood to get my head cleared. My boyfriend gets home before me everyday and all day I'm either running around campus or running around the lab. And sometimes it just makes you feel like your head is going to explode!

Do you not have any place where you can go and just relieve some stress? Maybe even down to the park to just kind of chill out? I do hope that you can talk to your parents about this. If they wont do anything about it then you need to find your own space for just you. If this keeps up you will go crazy! I really hope something can get figured out for you. We're all here for you!

[LittleForgetMeNot]

My brother just turned 9 a few months ago and I'll be turning 16 in April. I was 6 when he was born, and before I turned 8 years old we moved in with my Dad. Kyle only stayed with us for 6 months and then he went back to live with my mother until I was about 10 years old I think. There I seen him every weekend, one week at his house, one week at my house, and I hated it.

My brother has some learning disabilities and is more difficult at understanding things than the average child. My Dad is lax with discipline, extremely so. My brother gets whatever he wants, does whatever he wants. My Dad will BLAME my brother for wasting food and buying things (even though he has the money?) and this blame gets thrown on me out of no where when I want one thing out of the hundreds my brother get's everyday. But he is bored, I know that. We're basically locked up in our house 24/7. I because I have no friends and him because he cannot be trusted outside by himself. My Dad is too tired and taking Kyle out in the past with me has NEVER EVER been a good experience (throwing a tantrum every time we have to go makes you just not wanna go anymore)

The big thing with Kyle is that he cannot do ONE thing on his own. Not one. When he wants to watch a movie he wants someone to watch him watch that movie. When he plays a video game he wants someone to watch him play it or play with him. He won't brush his teeth unless someone does it for him. He wont take off his shoes unless someone does it for him. He'll purposely play games that are too hard so we have to sit there and help him for 6 hours and if I want to talk to my Dad alone and we're talking about important things, my brother will just start talking over us or making loud weird noises so we pay attention to him again. He's a glutton for attention, so much that my Dad barely pays any attention to me anymore (which he says is my fault because I isolate myself on the computer) and sometimes I feel that he gets enough attention and doesn't need any from me.

I used to be able to tolerate it, and I used to play with him and love it.. but over the past few years I've grown tired of it. I miss my Dad when he was nice and well rested, I miss going weeks without one loud noise in the entire house. I miss NOT wanting to be left alone. I miss not having to explain my every move to someone. Or us having a jerk, nosy, stupid roommate who thinks he's part of our family. I want to go back to the life I used to be able to enjoy, the life where I couldn't wait to get home and have fun or go out. But it seems impossible. My Dad wont listen to me, he takes offence to whatever changing thing I have to say or says that it's not him it's my brother cause he's "different". My brother doesn't get I want space. It's all on me, how much can I tolerate, how long can I put up with it for, and I can feel the cracks coming already. I've thought of running away before, even though I love them, it's just.. too much sometimes.

[Belle1979]

LFG I think that a lot of it is that you are growing up as much as anything else. Teenage years can be difficult enough and you have a lot of extra complications and responsibilities.
I think you are a strong and wonderful person who has overcome many difficult situations, this is another one that just makes you stronger xx Stay strong, keep yourself healthy and this too will pass xx