[Emily_Strange]

I'm not quite sure why I've been compelled to post my thoughts on an anonymous forum instead of in one of my private journals. I guess if I put my thoughts out there, maybe something will boomerang back.

Man, I'm tearing out hair as I type this.

I'm slowly accepting I need to change courses...With everything. Starting with a career path.

Maybe happiness is more a fleeting moment than a persistent state over an extended period of time for me. Maybe I'm just not going about this right because I don't have the right expectations.

Maybe its not ADD, but a habit of losing my attentiveness when disinterested in a task. Maybe no matter what I chose to do with myself, I'll be screwed if I don't get rid of being so unconsciously spoiled and unfocused. Is it ADD or old work habits that need to die hard? Maybe I need to see a therapist after all.

I feel like everything about who I am and the way I think is so difficult to categorize, its hard to even know myself [note: Degree in accounting. I loooove to categorize, haha]. Do I have a real problem with ADD? Or am I just spoiled and hate settling for less? ...Or am I simply not that intelligent? Perhaps I'm unaware of talents I could pursue. Or instead maybe its an issue of wrong time, wrong place? Or maybe I shouldn't worry so much over trying to define myself, and just try fixing the issues [re]manifesting.

I don't know why I accidentally lost that money at work today. I don't know why I'm such a slow learner when there's no textbook in front of me. I don't know why I am so forgetful....And late all the time. A bit impulsive, sometimes easy to rouse to anger. Maybe its ADD. Maybe its not ADD.

Is there a pill out there for being me, where I'm from, at age 24, in 2011?

[(JD)]

Hi Emily I'm sorry you're so out of sorts today...

I don't know why I accidentally lost that money at work today.

That's why we call them accidents.

I don't know why I'm such a slow learner when there's no textbook in front of me

Having degrees in education, let me assure you that each person learns in her own way.

Some people have procrastination issues, thus being late all the time, and others have temporary issues when they don't feel well or have to do things they really don't wish to do. If this really bothers you, decide ahead of time by when you need to do something (leave by xx to get to work on time,etc) and work at sticking to it... alarms or alerts on your phone can help remind you. Some things may have to go undone until later.

Take a breath, rest, do some good self care.

[Emily_Strange]

Ah, thanks JD. That made me feel better. Whew.

[Sunna]

Hi Emily.
I can empathize with your questions. I don't particularly like my job and it's hard to concentrate, things distracts me, thoughts distract me, sunshine on a window distracts me. I start something and drop it many times and sometime loose it before I finish and have start over. I am sure I could be classified as having ADD, except when I do love something (lately been hanging around in Psych Central - and I could call that an addiction if I wanted to be unkind to myself, but I don't, so I won't) I am focused like a Jedi Master.

Hang in there. Don't swarm yourself with all these questions.

And as for not liking your job, that too can be overcome, it's a matter of perspective. I am working with myself on a topic : "I used to love my job once upon time, what was it that I loved, and can I bring that quality back?"

Hugs.
Sunna