Anger and frustration

So, i'm in debt. I was very frivolous when I was at my worst part of mental illness. Spending money to make myself feel better. I've tried my best to pay as much as I can back. I've been made redundant on a few occasions which at times has rendered me incapable of giving back as much as I used to. Currently i'm on disability.

I've always had problems with my anger, but recently it's becoming more difficult to cope with. Constant phone calls and house visits from debt collectors. I'm sick of saying to them 'this is what i can pay back, if it's not sufficient, then file to the courts'. And today I lost my control and took this guys clipboard and threw it into next doors garden and said 'fetch'. And then I went indoors and trashed my room.

I wish I had an off button. I wish that I can be emotionally mature about things sometimes. I'm in such a mess. I've relied too much on group therapy and CBT in the past and I haven't learnt anything it seems.

But rationally, I know i've brought it on myself and I will deal with the consequenses of my actions. bah....

Hold your head up, EvilPopTart.

I'm sorry you are having this problem. Sometimes I get angry without good reason -- just due to my mental illness. I spent a couple days recently quite angry and I had a hard time coping with it and keeping myself from lashing out. In the past I actually would lash out.