[violetdazzle]

I recently had an aunt pass away, tomorrow will be a week since her death. And a lot of the time I'm fine, but then I'll remember and it just hurts so bad, I don't think I've ever felt this way when someone has passed away before. I've lost people I was close to before and it didn't hurt nearly as bad as her death does. I just feel like there is a huge weight on my heart and once the crying starts it feels at times that it will never stop. I have a very dysfunctional family, and that's a big part of the reason I'm not confiding in them. Plus they lost my uncle six months ago, and my mom it's hard to tell how much longer she'll be around, cause she has alcoholic cirrhosis. Which if it isn't in end stage, it's close. And if she doesn't get the things for her Medicare straightened out she won't have the option of a transplant. But back to why I'm on here, I just don't know how to really explain how I'm feeling cause some of it i'm not really sure about myself. But it hurts more than a lot of the stuff I've dealt with over the years. I may not be making any sense, but I just don't know what to do well how to deal. If any one can make sense of my rambling lol, I'd really appreciate something that may help, cause I just don't know anymore, and I can talk to my best friend, but I don't want to come crying to her all the time either.

[PleaseHelp]

(((violetdazzle))) you have a lot on your plate. It might not just be your aunt that you are grieving, but the other people you've lost recently and the thought of losing your mother - just a thought. It is never easy to lose someone. Don't be too hard on yourself. Everyone goes through the grieving process differently. Allow yourself to grieve.

If you need to talk, PM me. Please keep posting it may help to talk about it. Gentle hugs to you.

[impulse]

Yes grieving a natural and healthful process, definately take time to feel the emotions. Let them work themselves through vs. blocking or supressing.

For someone very close, it takes about five years...with the first being the most difficult. Actually it never really goes away, but our thoughts and feelings transform to warm memories and love. Vs. feelings of loss, etc.

Going through the process offers the opportunity to grow in some beautiful and surprising ways.