[Bipolepdspouse]

I feel like I don't know what to do. I am Bi-polar. Also have been out of work since oct 2010.

I am married to a man who is major depressive with anixiety who was recently diagnosed with Early onset Parkinsons. Also a recovering alcoholic who falls off the wagon more and more.

I reconnected with and old Ex (friends only) last year. He died in Feb.

Now on top of all this my Mother was just diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's.

Can't really take ths anymore.

I feel so overwhelmed I just want to curl up and sleep.

[Can't Stop Crying]

You have a lot on your plate right now. Of course you're overwhelmed. Are you in therapy? Remember to breathe and take it one step at a time.

[Bipolepdspouse]

Thank You. Yes I am in therapy. It just seems to be too much. I am grieving the loss of my friend and the loss of who my mother was.

[Leed]

Bless your heart ~ Of course you're overwhelmed! That would be too much for anyone. I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear friend. And now with your Mother's diagnosis, I'm sure you're projecting what is going to happen down the line ~ TRY to stay just in today because that's all we have anyway.

I'm glad you're in therapy. Perhaps your therapist has some advice & tricks on how to stay in the here and now. We cannot look towards tomorrow as we aren't even PROMISED tomorrow. And of course we NEVER look at yesterday, because that's gone. It will never return. All we have is today - and we don't want to screw that up. LOL

Try to think of yourself now and then too -- you're going thru the grieving process and you must be kind and patient with yourself. Treat yourself like you would a friend who was going thru the same thing. Make sure you eat properly & get PLENTY of rest. Take care and God bless. Hugs, Lee

[Bipolepdspouse]

Thank you Lee.

I am trying to balance what I need with everybody elses needs. There are days when I wait until everyone is in bed so I can cry. I am trying to be strong for everyone else sometimes there is nothing left for me.

It is just to frustrating when my mother wants to speak in the now and can't find the words.

Thanks again for your support.

[Bipolepdspouse]

Now on top of everything my husband has been getting drunk at his brothers house. This is on top of taking Lexapro,Klonipin and zyprexa. I am so fed up I just want to leave.

[madisgram]

i can see why you're overwhelmed. so sorry you've gotten all this at once. as for hubby, you can call his pdoc and tell him about the drinking on top of the meds. pdoc can't discuss your hubby with you but it may help pdoc to know. i was told if you drink, just as well throw out the meds cause alcohol disrupts their effectiveness.
it sounds like you're giving so much of yourself to others that u have nothing left for yourself. your T can help you with this. right now balance is needed in your life as best as u can manage, imo.
couple's counseling for you and hubby perhaps? or tell hubby to get over the drinking or here's the door. he is causing you loads of upset. i realize he's physically sick but that doesn't give him permission to cause other problems in your life.
please let us know how u're doing. we care about you.

[Bipolepdspouse]

I have an interview on Thursday. Everyone is going to take a back seat to that. I am so tired of feeling like everybodies mother. I hate feeling this way but I have to protect myself.

[madisgram]

Originally Posted by Bipolepdspouse

I have an interview on Thursday. Everyone is going to take a back seat to that. I am so tired of feeling like everybodies mother. I hate feeling this way but I have to protect myself.

GOOD for YOU!!!!

[Elana05]

Originally Posted by Bipolepdspouse

Also a recovering alcoholic who falls off the wagon more and more.

Sending supportive thoughts your way.
I have found much help (practically and emotionally) from Al Anon.

[celloplayer]

Sometimes I have to tell others "I can't be there for you now. I am on overload' With that said I go into my dark music room or bedroom and shut everything out. Sometimes for an hour, a day, more, sometimes or less/ BUt you need to put yourself first. If you have small children that is difficult but if not just put yourself first.

If husband is drinking you cannot stop him, if it becomes too much leave, go to a friend or if needed a womans shelter or to family, but don't drown trying to rescue others. Recovery and living with menatal illness I have been told sometimes means you have to put yourself first. This is not selfish, it is survival, and in time others will respect you for doing this.

[Bipolepdspouse]

I went to memorial for my friend and found out that he had been pineing for me for 7 yrs.

I am so angry that he did not try harder to find me. I could have avoided so much pain. But then I think maybe I would have had different pain.

Just not sure. There is nothing I can do about it now, but I find myself thinking about it.