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Old Jun 26, 2011, 06:24 PM
Izraehl's Avatar
Izraehl Izraehl is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2011
Location: michigan
Posts: 33
I'm having problems with this lately.

I keep getting envious of my girlfriend and it's really really bugging me. I feel like it's bad for me and us.

She is always getting things/help from her parents and doing things I wish I could do but cannot do for various reasons.

I'm having a hard time just accepting that life isn't fair. I understand that it isn't fair but it doesn't make me feel any better.

Any tips?

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  #2  
Old Jun 26, 2011, 09:14 PM
slowinmi's Avatar
slowinmi slowinmi is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2010
Location: In a beautiful area of the Midwest US
Posts: 471
Hi Izraehl. No matter who you are in this world or how much money/help you receive, there is going to be someone who is richer or smarter than you. If you become envious of all of them, you'll spend your life always being jealous of someone else and not enjoying what you have.

My advice would be to find a way to learn to be happy for others while celebrating the positive things in your life including your achievements. Some of the ways that others have done this is by positive affirmations, meditation, naming things everyday that you're thankful for, etc. Perhaps one of the achievements you'll be proud of someday is being independent and able to accomplish things without a lot of help from others.

Take care, slow
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"Don't turn away. Keep your gaze on the bandaged place. That's where the light enters you." Rumi

"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change." Carl Rogers
  #3  
Old Jun 26, 2011, 09:55 PM
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Open Eyes Open Eyes is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,285
slowinmi is right on spot here.

I am assuming you are a male, sorry, don't know these days. If so, that is not unusual, but girls often do get more assistance from parents. At least you know that she is loved by her parents, let me tell you, that is a good sign. Would you want a girl friend that had issues from neglect and perhaps was very needy?

If it ever gets really serious and you end up married the one thing you can look forward to is that the parents will most likely support both of you in many ways.

A question, could this be because your parents give you little support and love?
If so, then that is not what is going to define you UNLESS YOU LET IT. And parents often think that boys are more independant too. But don't get carried away on the envy or it will interfere with your relationship. Just enjoy your girlfriend and her kind ways, enjoy the fact that she does know love and appreciation and that it can benifet you as she will be more stabel emotionally.

Sometimes men get a little intimatidate if a girl is strong and has a support system.
That means that you have to work on your self esteem. Don't be hard on yourself, you are very young yet, You can do it, keep working at yourself and study and learn.

Just because a woman isn't needy of you doesn't mean you are any less of a person.
It is better and healthier if you and your girlfriend can focus on the relationship and growing together.

Open Eyes
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