[DespondentDaisy]

You call in sick not just because you're not feeling well, but mostly just to avoid the stress and anxiety of dealing with a certain superviseor who is a narccisistic ***** who likes to pick on you, with whom you have to walk on eggshells around otherwise he'll take it as a personal attack and get mad at you for no reason and come up wth reasons to be upset with you, and you have to worry about him talking to his superiors. Well, at least mostly everyone else doesn't like him too. I just need a break. I've been thinking of getting a new job, but with the economy as such, I've sort of just stuck with it for a while now but I think I seriously need to start looking.

Yeah, and sorry if this is in the wrong section, I just figured since I'm dealing with overwhelming emotions right now, this would be a good fit. . ..

Wow - it sounds like you are working for the male version of my ex boss.
Sorry you are going through this. It's tough to spend so much time with bad bosses.

[Thomas in Ohio]

You are definitely not alone, DespondentDaisy.
My current job's like that now.
Come to think of it, my previous two were as well...hmm.

I've always stood behind my good supervisors - there were a couple that I would have even taken a bullet for, without a second thought. The bad ones, well, they had better hope to never be in a bind because there would be no one to help them out. They tend to forget that the people that they step on as they're going up the ladder, they'll have to deal with again on their way down.

I always got a kick (with the bad supes) out of following their instructions exactly to the letter. When it wasn't what they wanted, they tried to blame me, but for some reason, they just couldn't make it stick....Heh.
And boy, did it make them mad, but they couldn't do squat about it.
Much fun

[Beezup2]

Originally Posted by DespondentDaisy

You call in sick not just because you're not feeling well, but mostly just to avoid the stress and anxiety of dealing with a certain superviseor who is a narccisistic ***** who likes to pick on you, with whom you have to walk on eggshells around otherwise he'll take it as a personal attack and get mad at you for no reason and come up wth reasons to be upset with you, and you have to worry about him talking to his superiors. Well, at least mostly everyone else doesn't like him too. I just need a break. I've been thinking of getting a new job, but with the economy as such, I've sort of just stuck with it for a while now but I think I seriously need to start looking.

Yeah, and sorry if this is in the wrong section, I just figured since I'm dealing with overwhelming emotions right now, this would be a good fit. . ..

Dispondent Daisy: I hope it's comforting to you to see others in the same boat. Like the others my story fits to a tee. Like you I waited for the right moment to move away from a verbally abusive boss. I was sensitive and a softy and she knew it. I was making excellent money so it was even harder to leave.

I would like to say my story had a happy ending but it did not. My first month-long hospitalization (bp) was a direct result of the effects she had on me. I was hospitalized a couple more times. Two in my healthcare team told me she was the worst thing that ever happened to me.

Eventually I was downgraded and at least I was out from under her and had a very low-stress if low-paying job for the first time in my life. Next, they got rid of me. I figure with my excaberated illness, I had become a threat and high-maintenance. Now I have no job and likely will not again.

I tell this not to scare you but to let you know there are other choices and you can stand against this. My illness also had everything to do with my situation so please consider that. I had to seriously rethink what the word "job" meant as well as what stress was worth it and what stress I could handle. My "low-end" job was far more tolerable than other jobs. For me I realized they don't pay you a lot of money for it to be a cakewalk.

I confronted HR several times about her with pretty much no results. Confronting her was almost impossible given the relationship. My therapists gave me over 2 years' support on this one problem alone. It was really out of control.

I hope this lengthy sharing is of some help to you. My heart goes out as I have been in your shoes.

[Can't Stop Crying]

My abusive boss was a major contributor to my recent break down. I was also worried about quitting because of the economy and losing benefits. If it helps at all, I suffered from his abuse for 3 years and he was terminated about a month ago. I wonder why it took upper management so long to take action. There are many of my coworkers who are working on a lawsuit for hostile work environment - he literally called the team f**ing stupid. I was his target and he would push me until I would cry and then write me up for unprofessional behavior. He treated everyone horribly. I guess, every dog gets it's day! Him being forced out the door was one of the best things that could have happened for me. I actually enjoy work again!

I didn't realize what an emotional toll his behavior was taking on me until I fell apart in Jan. I wish I could say that all horrid bosses eventually get removed, unfortunately that is not always the case. I wonder if it would be worth it write out a pros and cons list. Your mental health is not worth any job! I wish I hadn't realized that too late.

[garden]

Hi Despondent Daisey. Hope it helps to know so many of us have experienced this same situation. My boss actually marched me down to HR, fired me, then announced that there was another position written just for me. Convenient? All this was done after moving all things I did to another person. The lack of simple respect for anyone was obvious and after I stated emphatically that I will not be talked to derogatorily or just any ole' way this was the result. I FELT better for having stood up for myself regardless of what happened. I work, found that I am good at what I do and I try. A person behaving such as we've experienced is weak to say the least. Just do what you can do at your own pace.

[DespondentDaisy]

It actually has been better lately. Truth be told, when I first worked there he was not manager and actually got promoted recently. Though his behavior started before this. And I wonder if it goes back to the first day I was there. Another coworker had asked about what I had done before being there and so then I think he actually asked me what I was doing after work (as in asking me out) and I heard him wrong and told him my previous experience. I think he thought I was brushing him off, I could tell as his expression glazed over to one of anger (?) that I had misheard him, but I'm glad, I don't think he's a very nice person anyway. Though if I work well and go along with his stupid jokes he doesn't seem to be so bad most days. I've sorta been looking for another job on my days off, but it's just depressing. I don't want to go back to an office job, I wish I could be my own boss. I used to work for a jewelry maker, have tons of notebooks filled with poetry I'm trying to organize on the computer in my spare time. I wish I could be an artist and write books or something. I need to figure out what I'm going to do. But for now, I'm trying to stay under the radar and just be glad I have a job and savor the nice coworkers and ignore his ugly behavior when it does crop up. Though I tend to get irritated much too easily. I don't know, either that or I'm just normal and he's an unfeeling narcissictic a - hole like I said.