Hugs

I find contact / touch very difficult. My T has been trying to offer a hand to hold since I started going, but I won't let my T within 3 feet of me.

I have also just noticed that I can't easily use the hug icons on here without feeling really anxious - how weird is that.

Hi ~ Do you know where this aversion to physical contact comes from? Were you a victim of child abuse -- or have you been molested at some time?

Some people feel like that when their parents were physically 'cold.' If you didn't get alot of hugs or if your parents didn't hold you, you might feel "funny" giving hugs to people.

If there has been any violence in your past, i.e. abuse, then it's perfectly understandable -- but it's something that you want to get a handle on, and to overcome. Maybe in time you'll be able to hold your therapists' hand.

As far as sending hugs -- I wouldn't worry about it. If it's uncomfortable for you, then don't do it. Wait until you feel better about it. Take care & God bless. Hugs, Lee

Hey SoupDragon,

I am the exact same as you ie I don't like physical contact (hugs, touching) I struggle to hug my own family. When I saw a Counsellor she found it very intriguing as I was not a victim of abuse so where has it came from.

My friends find it weird that I don't like it and they are huggie people. My best friend yesterday hugged me as I am dealing with negative thoughts. She said "I am gonna hug you now" I pulled away from her and she followed me and hugged me. She held me for about a minute and told me she loved me. That really hit me think I really needed it.

Sending hugs on here I have gotten better at but like you I get nervous too its weird huh!!

Leed had some good points. When I was little my brother molested me. And so I didn't like anyone to touch me. My mother always says that I was very independant and wouldn't let her cuddle me or help me get around. And in my flashbacks I remember why. I have a much easier time giving hugs and am somewhat apprehensive about getting them. I am also not a cuddler when I sleep and that also goes way back.

I tried very hard to be loving to my husband and went way out of my boundaries with him. He never lacked for love. But unfortunately his drinking affected me as he could get too intrusive. And he really blew it when he cheated on me.

So sometimes we have things about us that we don't always understand. Or we do come to understand and just don't talk about it.

Open Eyes.