The deep end

How can it be that I am back in there? I thought things were going so much better for me, could think more clearly and even have fun - but now I find myself back in that awful place - why does it do that, will I ever be able to climb out and stay out?

sometimes i feel this way too...it will often times suck the life out of someone...just hang in there, cuz you have seen better and now know that there is such a thing

hang there buddy i feel the same way all the time
and i know exactly where u r coming from too

Hello, SoupDragon. Sometimes, I use the analogy of a ball to describe my life. There are times when I am at the high end of the bounce and others where I am at the low end. What I try to do is use the coping skills I have learned to keep the bounces from getting uncomfortably high or low.

I wish you well.

i agree with byz. for me it's striving for more balance in my life reducing the highs and particularly the lows. a lot of this stems from my attitude of gratitude.
life is constantly changing. try to ride the wave.

OK - trying not to just sit and sink in the deep end. I am trying to get this head of mine sorted without any medication, just with the help of my T. I had started to feel better after so long in the land of numbness and blankness and thought "hey - I have this cracked now, this is all behind me" - and so it absolutely knocks me off my feet, when that darkness reappears - I guess I need to acknowledge that maybe those grey clouds will always be on the horizon and not get over confident when I feel better, with the subsequent corresponding huge disappointment when I feel low again. Yes I can relate to the highs and lows and needing to balance myslef in the middle - just need to work out how to do that.

Thanks for everyone's posts, I can't explain how it is such a great thing for me to know there are people out there - something to grab hold of while in that deep end. SD