Feelings all mixed-up

I don't know what I am feeling right now. My niece got married last Saturday and we had a blast at the wedding rehearsal, wedding, and reception. The next day,we found my grandmother passed away Saturday.

I didn't attend the funeral due to family issues. The family is arguing about everything. My sister and I chose not to put ourselves in the midst of it. I don't think there is enough nerve medicine to control the anxiety we would have had. There is a history of child molesting in the family and my sister and I were victims. We don't have anything to with them. They want us to act like nothing happened.

I don't know how to feel. She was my grandmother. She did make sure I finished high school when I wanted to quit. I lived my junior and senior year of high school with her. It is just when my sister and I told what happened, she told us to act like nothing had happened and we would we be okay. She, also, told my sister that she was wrong in not letting her daughters know their grandfather. As far as we are concerned, he isn't our father or anything to my nieces. You don't put your children in harm's way.

I am just having very mixed feelings.