i have anxiety...

my in laws are dysfunctional people and i need support!

i won't bore you with every detail but i will go back a few years ago.

sil son was going to a private college. sil couldn't afford this and due to bad credit can't get a loan in her name.

she asked my hubby for the loan to be in his name, my hubby said i would have to talk to needfixing first. when he told me he said i don't want to do this, i said she's your sister and family helps out family.

they went to the bank and instead of getting a loan for 6,000 she convinced him to get a visa for 13,000.

when sil tried to make a payment towards the college, they don't accept credit cards, so she convinced my hubby to give her a cash advance of 2,000. meanwhile, my sil is moving out of her house and into her apartment.

i said don't do this, your sister is taking advantage of you, the 2,000 isn't for college its for first month rent, and deposit towards the apartment. he said she's my sister and she'll pay us back.

he got the cash advance, and came home not looking so good.

i said what's the matter? he said my sister will go on line to get a loan for 10,000, she will fill out the form as if it were me, and i gave her my personal information!!!!!!

i said PLEASE tell your sister that needfixing said no! put the blame on me! he said no, his sister will keep him updated, and when the loan is approved she needs to call him to sign for it!

the loan was approved and his sister FORGED his name on a 10,000 loan!!!!!

i called the police, he told me i would have to go to the safety building pick up a fraud packet, fill it out, bring it in, and file charges. i told my hubby but he said i will not file charges she's my sister and i love her.

sil called, she said she will pay us back, my hubby said it had nothing to do with the money, you betrayed me! she said fine, i'll cancel the loan and i am sorry i ever asked for your help and hung up on him!

it was me that canceled the loan.

a few months later, my other sil who is my cousin had a party, and no one would talk to me or even look at my face! my hubby said needfixing i am sorry that my family was rude to you, but its your fault for calling the cops, lets go.

fast forward, last year i had a beautiful party, it took me 4 months to organize it, his side of the family didn't say hello to me, didn't look at my face, and when they left they didn't say thank you, or goodbye.

i had a melt down! shaking from head to toe, and crying! the next day suddenly my dad dies.

at the wake cousin sil to say she was rude to me was an understatement! her dad who is my uncle told her OFF!

the sil that forged my hubby name, her children never ever gave me there condolences. i was a second mother to those chiildren.

now sil son is getting married in a few days, i dont want to go! the anxiety is giving me heart palpiations.

thanks for reading.

My step father forged loan in my mothers name, and now she sometimes has to make the payment on it. and they have been divorced for like 2 years!! Its alway nice to help out a family in need. Its not nice to take advantage. You should go to the wedding You will feel bad you didn't go. and so will he. If you can't take it you can always just leave early. Be there for him, ignore the family.

I don't see that you did anything wrong or that you should feel badly about and it sounds like you still have a couple relatives (your husband and uncle, for example) who know the difference between right and wrong.

I would not necessarily fault the children, they cannot know the whole story or be expected to know what is at stake, not having had loans or been lied and cheated on in such a manner as your sister-in-law used her brother, your husband. It is unfortunate it is their mother who did wrong as they are not learning well from her, as you can see.

I would hold your head up (your sister-in-law should be the one ashamed to) and go to the wedding, enjoy those people who enjoy you and greet but don't hang out with those who do not. You had a right to cancel the loan, after all, it was in you all's name, not hers!

As a matter of fact, I would call the better business bureau or whoever and complain about the lender that made the loan without any proof; most legitimate places require driver's licenses, etc., picture, proofs of signature, etc. That was identity theft and if they did it to you/your husband they do it to others and your sister-in-law isn't the only guilty party but an accomplice helping them know they can get away with it; they would have made money on the deal so they didn't care who paid it!

In the future; experts say to never cosign for anyone, just give them the money or object (car). What you are actually doing is giving someone else your credit rating! Don't give others power over you like that. You get a loan and make the payments for it so you keep control and they pay you back (or not).

she asked my hubby for the loan to be in his name, my hubby said i would have to talk to needfixing first. when he told me he said i don't want to do this, i said she's your sister and family helps out family.

Your husband's instincts were correct and he knew his family pretty well to say that.
In many situations; loaning money to friends and family is a "no no". Helping is sometimes a good thing; but not always. Identity theft, means your sil is a large piece of work. Lesson learned!