Strange feelings today

Getting a bunch of feelings today for someone hasn't felt much in the past few years. Gone through a divorce 10 years ago and have had a new loving wife for 10 yrs.

Smack dab in the middle of transiency (in memories)this holiday while in the same old conservative mode all year.

Just passed the 8 year mark of my best friend dying. "Looking forward" to the 5 year mark of my father and law dying on Christmas Eve. Waiting for my son to come up and "visit".

Knowing how my entire extended family estranged me when my ex divorced me and how I estranged myself from my "parents" as a result. (Beyond the scope of this story).

Love the South and being left alone, but for some strange reason I am thinking of Brooklyn's blue skies during the day and it's darkness from my cousin's city window even though everyone (even that cousin) there has estranged me.

I lived in Brooklyn from the ages 2-4 and visited there a few times as a teenager and young adult. I haven't been there in 10 years. Can't get away from looking at the sky on google maps where I visited with "family" there even though I would never consider reconciling after the way I am treated. Tried that so many times with the same result over the past 10 years.

Just had to vent, eyes feel heavy!

Feeling is gone, weird lol.