[SM1019]

Hi everyone.

I've been feeling really lonely lately. Maybe I should explain.

I'll start from the beginning...

I'm a 14 year old boy. I live in the middle of a housing development where most houses are built for disabled people, and so there are mostly seniors living around me, except for the occasional person taking care of their parent(s.) I'm also homeschooled. As you can imagine, I don't get out much, and when I do, it's rare that I see someone my age, since I generally don't leave the neighborhood. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy listening to stories, and seniors generally have lots of those. But, you know, it'd be kind of nice to talk to someone my own age more than once every month or two.

I'm starting to ramble. When my first girlfriend broke up with me, I was pretty shaken up. I guess that's a given. But ever since then, I've always felt kind of lonely. That was a little over six months ago. Last week, I was watching TV and I saw this one show (I forget the name...) that had this girl as the main character. I was pretty engrossed in the show until it was over. Then I realised that the main character's personality was everything I wanted in a girl. Yeah, I know, the character is just something that the writer thought up, but still. Ever since then, this lonely feeling has gotten really bad. I used to listen to the radio at night to help me go to sleep, but I can't any more. I listen to country music, and a lot of country songs are about love, and they just make it hurt even more. I want to be a pilot when I get out of college, and so I've always played flying games (Flight Simulator X, or a lot of the free combat pilot games you can find on the internet) but I've simply lost my interest in them. I've talked to my parents and friends, but they've just told me that it's all simply a part of growing up. I'm not so convinced. My sister's friend is a psychology major, and she told me that I'm not really in love with a character, rather, I'm more of chasing the idea of being in love. I'm honestly not really upset that I don't have a girlfriend any more, but I just want this feeling to go away.

I'm sorry, I kind of jumped around when I typed all of that. It did feel good to get all of that off my chest, though. Any ideas on how I can get rid of this lonely feeling?

Hello and welcome to PC!

I am not a professional by any means, but these feelings of loneliness and thinking of love seem perfectly natural...especially for a 14 year old.

Do you enjoy being homeschooled? Would you ever consider attending high school?

Also, are you in any extra-curricular activities? Perhaps if you were part of a group/club outside of the home, you would be able to socialize with others who have similar interests. Volunteering can also be a good way to get out of your shell.

[SM1019]

Thanks

I guess I'm lucky to be homeschooled. It shows me that my parents love me and care about me. It's also nice not to have peer pressure. I don't have any friends who are homeschooled, but the few I do have say that in high school, there's drug dealing that goes on in the bathroom, as well as most people "get lucky" whether they want to or not, simply so they can fit in. There's a Catholic high school in town that doesn't seem to be as bad, but I'm not sure how well I'd do, since I've always been homeschooled.

The only extra curricular activity that I'm involved with is the Civil Air Patrol. It's part of the Air Force, and it has a cadet program that accepts kids 14-18, who can stay in through 21. It's a really fun program, and despite the air force connection, there's only one other Cadet who is interested in becoming a pilot, and we don't get along very well. I'm also the youngest person in the local unit by a year, and sometimes it's a little frustrating with the maturity difference. Civil Air Patrol offers awards to cadets who volunteer, and so I've tried volunteering, but there's a few age snags. Ten years ago when my sister was my age, she volunteered a lot, but since then there have been too many accidents and the city raised the minimum age for volunteering (for the city, private buisnesses are excluded) to 16. Most private buisnesses have also raised their limit to 16. There is a raptor center that my parents said I could do three hours a week at, but they have too many volunteers as it is.

I guess if it's natural, I shouldn't be so worried about it. I'm starting to understand why a lot of people hated their teenage years