pulled every direction

my oldest brother has been married for 32 years and out of the blue his wife filed for divorce. she didn't even tell him, he found out from his coworker who was looking for something on the internet.

the reason for the divorce, she's in love with someone else, she's an educated woman and it's beneath her to cook and clean for her husband and children. oh i'm sorry was my mother suppose do all of that for you? oh wait a minute she did and raised your children for you too! but that's another story.

they lived with my parents from the time they got married, my father is dead now so he doesn't have go thru this, but my mother is very much alive and very much stressed out.

i became my mother sound board. she is very angry at my brother and her soon to be ex daughter in law.

she takes her anger out on me, and my brother and his kids use me.
whenever the phone rings my heart drops down to the pit of my stomach and WHAT NOW is screaming thru my head!

my mother is elderly so i do all of the driving for her, and if she's not feeling well i cook and clean for her. this i can handle, but the verbal abuse it stressing me out so much that i actually shake.

my hubby gets so upset when my brother and his kids come over. when they leave he gives me the silent treatment.

i can't tell my mother and brother that my hubby gets upset when they come to visit, and there is a lot of things that i don't tell hubby. the things that i did tell him i got no emotional support from him, instead of giving me a hug he tells me off.

it's like a woman without a country.

You poor thing! Enough is enough! You're going to have to talk to your brother and tell him that this soap opera is NOT your business and to STOP bringing it to YOUR HOUSE!!! Tell him that it's causing problems between your husband and you and you don't appreciate it. Tell him that he needs to take care of his own business. After all, HE chose to live with his mother all these years.

And as for poor Mom, she should have thrown this "user" out years ago! Why didn't she? Why on earth did she allow them to abuse her for over 32 years??? That's absurd! That so-called "wife" of his is something else!

This really isn't your problem -- and it's time for you to let them know it. I know you don't want to abandon your Mom, but SHE has to stand up to them, and get them OUT of her house! She's done enough -- it's time for her to have her house to herself. Maybe you could help her with it, but that's all. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

Leed said it all needfixing. hugs, bj

(((((needfixing))))),
Wow, I know you struggle but to be honest, I also read your very supportive posts too. I really think that inspite of your own struggle, your probably the only one that can really see the disfunction in a realistic light. I have to say that it is upsetting to see how much your still being misunderstood as well. I can honestly relate to that.

I think Leed's post is on target here as well. Unfortunately your going to have to be the one who has to somehow find the strength to set up respectable boundaries. I really feel for you here because it is obvious that these disfunctional people are what caused so much harm to your psychie too. PLEASE, take care of yourself and make sure that you use your therapist as a sounding board to help you keep stable. Also remember that PC members are here too to also support you.

(((((Big Hugs for you needfixing)))))
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