[Betty_Banana]

My T has always thought that writing letters is a good way to get my feelings out. And I write them fairly often. I get so into writing them that by the time I am finished, I am so worked up that it takes awhile to calm down.

Normally, I either burn or tear up the letters, and I do feel better afterwards.

I have been writing my mother letters my entire adult life.At least once or twice each month. They're always the same. There's so many unresolved issues.

But, this past week, I was so caught up in what I was feeling, that I actually mailed the letter. I have never done that before. I have often fantasized about doing it, but never had the guts.

Now I am regretting it big time. I said so many things that she will probably never speak to me.

Have any of you ever mailed one of your letters?

[Leed]

Yes, I have. In fact, my psychiatrist MADE me write one and mail it. I was in a mental hospital at the time. All I said was the truth -- about things that she and my father had done that had hurt me mentally. About things that made me feel totally unloved. I said that the physical fights that she and dad had, had screwed me up in the head and the choice that I had made in a husband had not been a good one because of it.

Her reply basically "pooh-poohed" everything. She didn't validate anything. So once again I felt like a fool, just like I had as a kid. Isn't it wonderful what parents can do and keep doing to their kids?
Anyway-- my psychiatrist helped me ALOT. I managed to get my power BACK from my parents. They weren't able to hurt me anymore.

I hope your letter does some good. And I hope YOU feel better for mailing it. Don't regret it. You only said what you felt. And there's nothing wrong with that, sweetie. We've lived with those feelings alll our lives. It was just time to let them know!!! God bless you dearheart, and take care. Hugs, Lee