Am I being too sensitive about this?

Hi again,
I posted a thread last week asking for input about my over analyzing things where my old boyfriend is concerned, and all who responded were right. This past Monday I asked him once more to stop ignoring me because it really hurt. He responded finally after almost 3 months of not speaking to me and asked me to dinner. I agreed and met him at the restaraunt he suggested. Before we walked in he said he wanted to apologize for being a jerk and not talking to me. I accepted the apology and we had a nice dinner together. Some time ago, I wrote him a heartfelt letter telling him how I feel about him and explaining what led me to break it off with him 20 years ago. I also had a gag gift that I bought before he stopped talking to me, and I gave him both, telling him not to freak out, that I had written it a little at a time while in different emotional states, but it came from the heart, and I wanted him to know. He nodded and before we said goodbye, we hugged and I gave him a kiss on the cheek and caressed his other cheek while looking into his eyes and smiling at him. He looked at me like he was dissapointed that I didn't "KISS" him, but we chatted a bit anyway before I shut my car door and left. I contacted him yesterday to say hi and that I hope I didn't freak him out with my letter or the gift. He said it did freak him out and the fact that I bought it before our first date was a turn off. I apologized for it and said that I made myself clear in the letter about how I felt but I wasn't a mind reader and that I wanted him to talk to me. He said he didn't read my letter,that he had no romantic interest in me and that nothing I wrote would have changed his mind. I asked if he was ever interested at all and he said that he was at first, but that because I said I didn't want any more kids and that I said I'd never take another man's name again, and because we talked about sex toys on a first date that it was a turn off. He led me on for weeks after that date with his caring words and behavior toward me. Not ONCE did he ever mention anything like this. When I called him out on that, he proceeded to become belligerent and say that if I couldn't handle being friends not to call him anymore. I should mention that this whole conversation took place by TEXT because when I tried to call him, he wouldn't answer. Is it unreasonable of me to be hurt that he couldn't even be bothered to read the letter or tell me how he felt sooner? Am I being too sensitive here? I'm crushed again at the lack of respect and I have to start the grieving process all over.

I didn't catch your first thread, but I DO think it's rotten that he lead you on all this time. He knew how you felt about more kids, marriage, etc. And if he didn't have any special feelings for you, why did he lead you to believe that he DID??

This guy is no prize. I'm sorry you have feelings for him. Time is the only "healer." I hope you'll get over him quickly as you really aren't losing anything special. He doesn't seem to have any honor. Find yourself a GOOD guy -- there are some out there.

Best of luck and God bless. Hugs, Lee

That would hurt my feelings. if he has no interest in you and doesnt want to read your letters, why did he go to dinner with you?
Hugs, and may you find somebody who will treat you lovingly.

Dear Sadness,

Perhaps you are a bit over-sensitive, as I am myself at times. That being said, I can also add that nobody ever deserves to be treated with disrespect, particularly from someone with whom they have any sort of loving attachment. Having just gone through a breakup with someone who was not what he portrayed himself to be (kind, loving, accepting), I can say with certainty that being uber-sensitive doesn't give anyone the right to manipulate or control you, lead you on, ignore you, or otherwise treat you with anything other than the respect you deserve. In reading your question, I didn't visualize you as over--sensitive, just as human. Maybe a bit quirky (which can be endearing) and verbose (I tend to write letters as well, though), but not too sensitive. If YOU think you're too sensitive, then that may be something you want to work on, but either way, you are entitled to feel however you feel.

You know, there must be something wrong with me because even after he has so blatantly disrespected me and I believe LIE to me about his feelings, I'm still trying to come up with excuses for him to explain his behavior towards me. I keep telling myself that maybe he just got scared and needed an out, so that's why he has treated me so carelessly. The fact is that I'm probably in denial. All this thinking and looking for answers that aren't there is exhausting!