[rcrss5]

I have been hospitalized for in twenty three days in the last couple of months. I have learned a few things negative and positive. I was in a place where doctors, nurses, and mental health workers really care and are attentive to you no matter how many time you hash out your negative feelings and stories. I had days where I felt okay and others where I endured emotional rollercoasters. Now for the negative, I learned that my one and only support is not really as supportive as I thought. My mother watched my five kids when I was in the hospital and I know it was not easy, but I learned that she was verbally mean to my kids and stated that I was somewhat faking my illness. She also said she would never watch my kids for me while If I was hospitalized. I guess I didn't really consider her an emotional support, she was just a babysitter. I also found out that I cannot rely on my exhusband either, he came to see the kids from Louisiana and I went in the hospital. I knew he was coming for sometime and suffered for four months with my depression. I thought he would stay until i got out of the hospital but instead he left the kids with my mother. When I knew I was getting bad again I called him and asked him to come and take care of the kids so they would not have to deal with my mother, but he didn't come. Instead he let me know that if I go in the hospital again he will take all my kids away from me. I am suffering from a major depressive episode and am under great stress. I was hoping my exhusband would work with me for the sake of our children, but he didn't. I am so alone and feel so empty inside. I just don't know what to do. thanks for listening.

[Miswimmy1]

Im so sorry for all u hav been through. I can't relate to your situation, but I'll be thinking of u!

[layla11]

Hi Rcrss, so glad you posted. Ive been off for a couple months from work. Didnt go to hospital, but can relate to you in the support I got at home witch was very lttle. One of the most hurtfull things was the trying to get some time off and everywhere I went I wasnt getting much help there. Well I learned alot. I just dug my feet in harder and said to myself, Im being honest and no matter what there problem is Im ok. Posting here has been the greatest help for me.
Things will be okay. I would have as little converstion with husband and mom as possible until you feel better. It sounds like they have their own issues.

[decaffeinated]

let me give you a hug for having no one close to you who is reliable enough, sigh, finding someone who is trustworthy is really hard.

you can look for someone who loves children to be a babysitter, it'd be better if you have a relative is who is caring enough. and btw, get well soon

I've never completely been in your situation but my mom and her own hateful behavior and emotions is the reason for most of my issues. I can relate. There's nothing quite like reaching out to people to be stabbed in the back. Hang in there. Know that there are people who "get it" and may that be at least a small consolation to you.