[GlorianaXII]

Have any of you found that you simply don't give a damn about anything? Not about friends, family, what's happening around you? I don't mean lethargy or an innate desire to disconnect from the outside world, I'm talking about total lack of emotion. I'll give you an example:

Instead of actually feeling an emotion, you think the emotion, i.e. there is absolutely no emotive pulse, just a thought that expresses that a certain emotion should be felt at this time, almost as though a part of you is looking back at you and saying This is what you should be experiencing, while the actual you part of you doesn't actually experience anything except the thought.

I find that most of the time this is what is going on in my head. People close to me tell me good news, bad news etc and I find myself just looking at them and thinking "I really don't care", although I go through the motions of happiness, sympathy etc, without actually feeling any sense of connection whatsoever.

I would love to know if anyone else has this sense of disconnection inside and what, if anything, they've been able to do about it. It's literally ruining my life, because I can't fully take part in my relationships anymore.

[Taonuviel]

I feel something like that. Except I think I do care sometimes, I just don't feel like I care. Feels very separate and different from everyone around me. I just keep going through the motions and trying to be genuine in the moment, trying to analyze the situation too. I don't have a cure for it.

[Leed]

Yes, unfortunately I DO understand. I had that happen a while back -- I was in that "state" for quite some time. I THOUGHT I cared, but the actual FEELING wasn't there. I don't know if it was due to the medications or what. I've been on antidepressants for YEARS, and i don't know if it numbs the emotions or what. Or if I've been depressed for so many years that I've numbed myself -- I just don't know. I've been in and out of therapy for years so -- I just don't want to go back. I don't feel AS numb as I used to -- at least I can cry now and feel joy!

Are you seeing a therapist? If not, I would advise that you do. Continuing to live like this will drive you insane. A good therapist will definitely help you -- it sounds like you're probably dealiing with depression. I wish you the best -- please take care & God bless. Hugs, Lee

[Umbral_Seraph]

I have that just about all the time, and only half the time I know what I should be feeling. The rest of the time I just kind of draw a blank. Alot of what I do I do because I know thats what I should do, since, really, I don't care. It can be difficult at times to not have any drive at all, but to not get angry or be bothered by most anything does have its advantages.