[LovesShelly]

I don't know what to do. I feel like I've lost myself. I just feel so worthless.

I don't know how to handle it all. I had so much hope for my future.
I was going to graduate high school, move to a different state (as far away from my family as possible), get my own place, go to college, become a nurse, and just find happiness. Now, all my plans, hopes, and wishes are dying away!
I'll be lucky if I can graduate high school, I don't have enough money to move out (which my mom wants me out of her house by next summer), no college is going to take my in with my grades, there's no way I'll ever be able to become a nurse (again, my grades in school), and I don't even know what happiness is anymore!!

I just feel like I've lost all hope for my future.

I really just need some one to talk to and maybe some hugs.
Yet all of my friends are acting like they don't care about me! It seems like everyone I know just wants to use me..........no one seems to care anymore......

I guess this is just my cry for help.............well before the darkness in my mind claims me again.......

[Leed]

Bless your heart. It sounds like you have "fair weather" friends. When you're depressed, they all leave! That has happened to me. When my husband died, every single one of my friends disappeard, and I haven't seen them since. That was 11 years ago.

Sweetie, have family problems made you so depressed? What's going on in the home? What has made you so depressed? And WHY does your mother want you out of the home by next summer? That seems quite harsh to me. Don't you get along with your mother, or is that just what she thinks is normal?

What exactly is happening to make your grades plummet? Something must be going on to quash your dreams. You had such hope, and now it's gone. Why?

Can you tell us? We're here to listen sweetie. Something must have happened. Do you know what it was?

[Mindinpieces]

Hi, Although I am in UK, different school system here. I can relate to you in some terms of your situation you’re going through right now. My advice to you would be stop for a minute and write out all your plans step by step… really you already have this. However it’s not going to help in keeping going over them in your mind… been there done that wish I stopped myself and saw things in a more clear and rash way before. Then I could have been in a different place, situation by now. However I will say this you have every right to feel the way you do and react the way you do. I think anyone would when having deal with the situations you’re going through. So try not to be too hard on yourself as well.

As for back to advice after you have done your list you need to focus on the most important first… I know this will then have an effect on your next step. It’s easy to over worry at the bigger picture. But honestly what’s the better way about this carry on and worry about the burden of everything yet to happen or focus on that so important step now that you have the capability to work on. So then you allow yourself to more forward without added pressure and worry. Can you understand what I am trying to say? Please don’t mistake me in thinking I am accusing you of not trying because I am sure that not the case. I am trying to get to understand dwelling and worrying about everything will get you nowhere and really this just puts a block on your efforts in trying to move forward. I can understand if you could just stop the worry, fear, pressure etc. you would but sometimes you have to sort of tell your mind you are now taking over and focus on what’s in front of you.

Another thing you need to do is see another way about this… it’s won’t be over in you don’t get the grades you need believe me and there is nothing to stop you from becoming what you what. You just need time and help understanding yourself and the things you going through. Talk to your school nurse, counsellor tell them your worry… that you’re worried you won’t get the grades need, your family situation is causing you concern and how things in your life are affecting you. They will be able to give you the guidance and emotional support you need at this time. There is nothing wrong in seeking help and you do deserve to have this… it’s their (nurse, counsellors) duty to support students with their life while at that school, college.

The most likely thing is for you to retake the classes and courses needed to be able to get the grades to then be able to take the higher course you need to go into the profession of your choice. There may even be another way around this like taking a lower course, entry level course that then means on completion of that course you can study the higher course, there’s that route… like said UK, I don’t know what you call the equivalent course you have as to what I am on about.

Really I think you need to work on what’s having this effect on you at the moment and clearly causing you distress because no one should have to feel this way or feel that there is no hope in having a productive life ahead of them. Also anyone who feels this way and try to move on without the right needed support or help in some forms or ways it’s more likely and easier to end up falling at the next hurdle so to speak. But even so it doesn’t mean you will fall again at the hurdle after that… and surly if you view it in the way of you need to have fallen once to then be able to have a better understanding of how to efficiently tackle the situation because you have then got that insight and life experience to better go about things. Life is about undertanding and try and error but nothing is ever an error in a sense you where wrong or not worthy it's just means there is another way or route for you to take. We all our different so really sometimes education system and things expected of us in life is a little unfair. If you think about it as we all can't fit that one way or ecpected route. Becuase if that was the case we all would be the same. Only you know yourself and you need to work with yourself to be able to work though this, again if you can get my line of thought or what I am goin on about here.

Sorry I ramble on and maybe a bit bossy but this is just my view and please don’t take me a words value, I just another person who is lost in their life as well. However hopefully you can sort of understand me and the message I am trying to put across. Try to be kind to yourself and I will be thinking of you and wishing you all the best

[shezbut]

(((LovesShelly)))

You could go into community college, to get general classes out of the way and take pre-requisites for nursing: Chemistry, Anatomy, Microbiology, and Physiology. If you're still interested in becoming a nurse, and your college GPA is above 3.0, chances are pretty good that you can find a nursing program to apply to.

In my experience, community colleges often have nursing programs (darn good ones!). The trouble with majoring in nursing is that there is a waiting list of 2-3 years before you can start the program. So, if you're absolutely certain that you want to be a nurse & feel confident in your ability to do well in the pre-requisites, get your name on the waiting list asap (usually not until after microbiology).

You're young ~ I know that you feel pressured to get out, but that sure doesn't give you motivation to excel in school. In my experience, that motivation comes with time living in the real world...working an 8-5 job/40 hours per week. I did that for a couple of years after my HS graduation, then I decided to go to college & began at community college.

That worked very well for me. I graduated with honors and transferred to a university for my last 2 years of school. In 2001, I got my BA in Psychology, and stayed on the honor role. A lot better than if I had gone straight from HS ~ That I know!!

Gentle hugs sent your way! I wish that I had advice for you on your family. I can only think move out asap & work a full-time job to pay the bills.

[LovesShelly]

Thank you Leed,

I'm so sorry to hear about what happened with your friends, and about your husband . I guess that's just how you find out who your real friends are.
I just don't understand why my friends do this everytime, even though they all know I get into these moods all the time. My "best friend" Kim tells me all the time that I can come to her whenever I need some one to talk to, yet when I do talk to her, she just makes fun of me for it.

Let's just say that my family is a problem. My mom isn't a nice person, my dad isn't much better, my younger brother isn't even worth talking about. I'm always the daughter that turned out to be a mess.
My mom tells me all the time that I can't do anything right. She even told me once that she never wanted children and wished that she would have put me up for adoption when she had the chance. She tells me all the time that I'm fat and ugly, that no one would want me. She even told me that I could never live on my own because I wouldn't be able to take care of myself. I'll just stop there or I'll be writing for days. So I guess that my family is part of the reason I'm feeling like this.
My mom wants me out of the house by next summer because of something I say when me and her fight. I started telling her about a year or so ago that, when I'm 18 I'm moving out. The day after my 17th birthday, she told me I have one year to get out of her house. I asked her if she was joking, but she said she wasn't. She even started counting down the days untill my 18th birthday.
I really don't like my mother. I have told her more times than I can count that she has no right to talk to me the way she does. She just tells me that she is a better mother than most people and that I'm just making things out to be worse than they really are for attention.

I don't make good grades in school because I don't do to well in social situations. Well that and because I get bullied at school, though no one seems to care.

I don't really know what killed off my dreams. I guess everything slowly started to slip through my hands, and I just don't know how to get it back.

I'm sorry about writing so much.....

[LovesShelly]

Thank you Mindinpieces,

Thank you so much. I think I'll try what you said, it seems like a better idea then what I have been doing.

I have tried to talk to the counselor at my school, but she told me that I had nothing to worry about and that all my problems are normal teenage problems. Well, she didn't even really listen to me: She was fixing her make-up the whole time.

There is no need to be sorry. And I do understand what your saying.

[LovesShelly]

Thank you shezbut,

I didn't even think about cummunity college . I was told that to be a RN I needed better grades or I won't be able to get into any college.

I was kind of hoping for a situation like you had. Graduate high school, move to a different state, get settled in, find a job, get everything worked out, then go to college. I'm still hoping that it works out like that.
It's a little hard though because I still have 2 years of high school left, but only one year untill I move out. I wanted to be done with high school before I moved so I could move to another state, but I guess that will have to wait.

thank you

[shezbut]

You CAN do it, LoveShelly.

I've seen it done several times by others in serious situations as well, but it takes determination. Community college is a wonderful experience ~ really! I don't have a negative word to say about it, as it really turned me around to a hopeful and more confident woman. I would LOVE to work in a community college, as I see it as a terrific resource for everyone to use!

You may need to wait tables for a few years (I know I did) or work in an office (I did that as well before going back to school) ~ but you will make it through this challenge and you'll be a stronger person. I know that ~ I've been there too.

Gentle hugs, take care!