[IwishIwasnotbroken]

Hello again
How is one supposed to feel about getting a bad grade on a test? I am a psychology major in college, and I recently got a 68 (out of 100) on a behavioral statistics test that I had studied quite hard for. I am a 24 year old male, and it was difficult for me to hold back the feelings of worthlessness, and self hatred as the teacher was going over the answers today in class. I literally was on the brink of tears over a stupid test! It doesn't seem normal to have a lump form in my throat, and feel horrible about myself for the rest of the day over an almost passing score on an exam. Granted, I wasn't even close to the class average. It seems everyone else is doing fine, and I'm the only one who made a bunch of really stupid mistakes, but still, I don't understand why I have such feelings of complete worthlessness over it. I understand what I need to do to get better, and I'm planning on getting an appointment with a tutor, and working with the teacher to get a better grade on the next test. I would just like to know how I can overcome having such strong emotions over something that, in the long run, isn't that big of a deal. It's kind of embarrassing to walk through the halls of a college feeling like I want to either break down and cry, or put my fist through wall. It's childish, but I really cannot help but feel this way. Any advice would be most appreciated. I don't party, or drink, or do drugs, and I'm very serious about school. Maybe that's my problem?

[jelly-bean]

It isn't unusual at all to feel so strongly about your grades. You know that your future rests on the grades and that makes them weigh very heavy on you. You need to try to relax a bit and then maybe your studies will sink in better. I think a tutor is a good idea but like I said, relax just a bit. You know what you have to do and you know you can do it. You should also know that it's okay to breathe a bit in between tests. It was only one test and you will improve the next time. I was once where you are so believe me I understand. Good Luck!

[GonnaGetBetter7531]

Wow!

I just read this post and can't believe it. For years, I though I was the only one who felt like this. You sound pretty much like me too. I too am very serious about my studies and school. I also stayed away from parties, drugs and booze too, which pretty much killed my social life at college, however I feel that in the long run, this was worked out waayyy better for my health.

For me, my parents were pretty much the driver on why I threw myself into my school studies. They didn't want me to be working the terrible jobs they were working and wanted a better life for me, but man, did they yell at me and make me feel stupid if I didn't pull a good grade or do well on a test.

Another thing is that you probably come across as intelligent, so others probably have this expectation that you need to live up too, in that you come across smart, you this needs to bleed into your schoolwork. Of course, this probably isn't the case, and you're like me, you really have to put alot of work into your schoolwork and grades.

I think that your right that you need to find a way to relax, maybe not take it as serious, however I think I have the same issue as you. I'm not sure how to go about it, so I probably shouldn't be giving you advice.

Maybe its a study skills thing? Maybe we just need to find a smarter way to study. I know that I've gone back and started to read various books on how to study. PM me and I can recommend a book that has kind of helped me.

[Leed]

Could this possibly have to do with your childhood years, and how you were treated by your parents for getting bad grades? Were you berated and punished for getting below average grades? Were you called names, etc.?? Were you made to feel less-than or "stupid?" If any of this is true, then you're probably carrying this with you to college.

Just dump your baggage, and don't believe those old tapes that are running in your head. Erase those tapes. Throw them away. They're no good any more. Can you visualize doing that? If not, you may need to see your counselor in college. He/she can help you get thru this. That's what counselors are for. To help you thru the hard times.

Getting a bad grade on a test isn't the end of the world. ALL THE KIDS have done that at one time or another. It doesn't mean that you're going to fail. It just means that you might want to study harder, or get a tutor, just like you're doing! No problem, right? You're doing exactly what you should be doing, so pat yourself on the back.

So again -- erase those tapes that are playing in your head. Those are out-dated tapes. YOu have to start playing newer, more positive tapes. NEVER play those old tapes again. God bless you and please take care of yourself. And make sure you get enough sleep, ok? Hugs, Lee

Its understandable to be concerned over the future. Theres even more pressure nowadays and subjects like psychology are very competitive. The sad thing about becoming unduly stressed over exams is that its the worse thing you can do - once panic and anxiety sets in you're obviously not as clear headed and able to think about what you know. It won't matter if you've studied the hardest you possibly can, your mind won't be as sharp and most of that effort gets wasted. I would talk to a counsellor maybe on campus about how better to prepare for and relax in exams - if you've come this far in your education you're clearly not stupid so i think it would be wise to get a handle on something like this sooner rather than later. As Leed also mentioned, make sure you eating and sleeping properly and also make sure you're allowing time to have fun between studying - do some sports, meet up with friends or perhaps go to study groups with them. College is about new experiences and socialising too so i would hate for you to miss out on this. All the best.

[kevinzo]

Sounds like you have high expectations for yourself and I think that is great! I know what it's like to be my own worst critic. It can be a double-edged sword at times. In one way it keeps us competitive and continuously raising our own bar and making ourselves better at what we do. In a negative way, it makes us a little too hard on ourselves and neglects to pat ourselves on the back for our achievements, big or small.

Life, as well as school, is a long continuous process. One grade, one test, one action, doesn't really amount to much. However, it's what you do consistently that will make you the person you are and the life you live.

Remember, Rule #1 "Don't sweat the small stuff" Rule #2 "It's all small stuff."

Recognize, where you need some extra help. Find ways that are successful in giving you that help. You've made it to college so I know you have a lot of tools under your belt that you have used consistently to get you to where you are at. Keep using those tools and keep finding new tools along the way.

Best of luck!

[Trippin2.0]

Maybe your grades are tightly entertwined with your sense of self-worth... That could be why you feel worthless when you dont perform up to par... Good grades is a commendable goal, working toward a bright future is an excellent path. But you are so much more than a symbol on a page. I hope you know that

[perseverance11]

Originally Posted by IwishIwasnotbroken

Hello again
How is one supposed to feel about getting a bad grade on a test? I am a psychology major in college, and I recently got a 68 (out of 100) on a behavioral statistics test that I had studied quite hard for. I am a 24 year old male, and it was difficult for me to hold back the feelings of worthlessness, and self hatred as the teacher was going over the answers today in class. I literally was on the brink of tears over a stupid test! It doesn't seem normal to have a lump form in my throat, and feel horrible about myself for the rest of the day over an almost passing score on an exam. Granted, I wasn't even close to the class average. It seems everyone else is doing fine, and I'm the only one who made a bunch of really stupid mistakes, but still, I don't understand why I have such feelings of complete worthlessness over it. I understand what I need to do to get better, and I'm planning on getting an appointment with a tutor, and working with the teacher to get a better grade on the next test. I would just like to know how I can overcome having such strong emotions over something that, in the long run, isn't that big of a deal. It's kind of embarrassing to walk through the halls of a college feeling like I want to either break down and cry, or put my fist through wall. It's childish, but I really cannot help but feel this way. Any advice would be most appreciated. I don't party, or drink, or do drugs, and I'm very serious about school. Maybe that's my problem?

I think that you are maybe too strict with yourself. You pass the exam, so be proud of you and even if you are below the group average, what that counts the most is your effort on the work. Like other members said, you are more than a symbol on a paper. Think of all the qualities you have (you have qualities! ) and talk to yourself that you made all the efforts necessary to pass the exam.

I whish you the best of succes in your studies!

[IwishIwasnotbroken]

Wow, I haven't checked my posts in a while, and I am overwhelmed by the amount of kind responses. Thanks so much for all of your time, and encouragement. I was able to set up anpointment with a tutor for next week, and I met with the teacher today, and my grade isn't as bad off as I thought it was.