[Alishia88]

I see so many people my age, young adults, college students that are so layed-back and easy going, having fun, enjoying life.
I´m really envious. I´d like to be that too. In fact I`m so anxious, perfectionist, controlling to myself and worrying I really really NEED to loosen up and relax more in general.

How can I do that? What kind of attitude or philosophy can I adopt?

[Leed]

You would probably have to see a therapist in order to get rid of alot of that anxiety and controlling attitude.

But for me, I figure whatever is going to happen is going to happen. Why get anxious about it. I cannot control ANYTHING. The only thing I can control is ME and MY attitude. I cannot control what happens tomorrow, or even today for that matter. I can't control what other people say, do, think or feel.

I'm not a religious person, per se. But i DO believe in God. I'm more spiritual than anything. I talk to God. I dont' really "pray." I have conversations with God. And that makes me feel much more secure and serene because if I "listen" I feel that I get an answer.

Like I said, you'd probably do better by seeing a therapist. Perhaps your counselor at school could help you. It can't hurt to talk to him/her. Give it a try.

I wish you the very best. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[Emotionally Dead]

It really just depends. Therapy is great, don't get me wrong. It saves a lot of people. In my personal opinion though, no one can change us but ourselves. A therapist can help cope with emotions, but until you put the work into it you're probably not going to get better. Unless you are diagnosed and treated with medication, but even with that some work has to be put in.

There really isn't a right or wrong way to do it. There also isn't a set way to take care of it. It's something that you have to tell yourself can be controlled. You have to find your own ways of coping with things. I am generally pretty laid back even with my anxiety. My anxiety has got much better with my own help. I have learned to do things during anxiety attacks that make me feel better. For instance, I will take a drink of water during a severe attack. For whatever reason I have led myself to believe that water cures my anxiety. Which is what anxiety is to begin with, a condition in which we allow ourselves to feel like something is happening to us. It is completely real, but in a lot of instances brought on by ourselves. Just as we can lead ourselves to believe that something is happening to us during an attack, we can also lead ourselves to believe that something is curing it, or fixing it during an attack.

It really depends on the person. Therapy would be a wise decision. The rest is something you'll have to work on. Find ways to cope with the attacks. If you can bring your anxiety down, you can also lower your stress level which in turn will allow you to feel more relaxed. I used to tell people during my extreme anxiety years that they were crazy when they would tell me "you have to tell yourself it's going to be okay", but it honestly works. If you can tell yourself it is okay and tell yourself you are relaxed and truly believe that in your mind then you can work wonders for yourself.

I wish you the best during this difficult time.

[Miswimmy1]

It's easy to enjoy life with no mental stressors... Honestly, I think it's an act for a lot of ppl. Everyone has their stuff. Just some are better at hiding it than others. But I personally think that there are only a very very select few that truly enjoy life as it is

[Mindinpieces]

Hi, something that came to mind when I read your thread was a thing called “mindfulness” this may be a way for you to learn to relax more in certain situations. It in its basic form is not judging a situation, thought or feeling you have or hold at any given time or situation you find yourself in but just trying to be aware of such feeling and thoughts but trying not roommate further on such thoughts and feelings. However this can be really hard to learn and adopt but worth a look into maybe as technique to help you to learn to be more relax as others seem to be. Wishing you all the best

[edward6]

Many people who feel unworthy in social situations are focused more on how they think they look, and how they think others perceive them rather than how they are. These people don't trust their own judgements, and seek validation through others, which leads to identity confusion, and let-downs because others rarely see us how we see ourselves or how we think we really are. Just being yourself is the best you can do, and others will be attracted to you because of it even if you pick your nose a lot. My perspective is that it weeds out the disclaimers whom you can't please, anyway.

[Stranger516]

This reminds me of Type A and Type B personality theory:

TYPE A: The theory describes a type A individual as ambitious, rigidly organized, highly status conscious, can be sensitive, care for other people, are truthful, impatient, always try to help others, take on more than they can handle, want other people to get to the point, proactive, and obsessed with time management. (AKA You)

TYPE B: The theory describes type B individuals as people who live at a lower stress level and typically work steadily, enjoying achievements but not becoming stressed when they are not achieved. When faced with competition, they do not mind losing and either enjoy the game or back down. They may be creative and enjoy exploring ideas and concepts. They are often reflective, thinking about the outer and inner worlds. Furthermore, Type B personalities may have a poor sense of time schedule and can be predominately right brained thinkers. (AKA laid back person)

I would imagine it would be hard for someone like you to develop more laid back tendencies. My advice to you is to try and live every day like it is your last day. You mustn't take life for granted. Enjoy your time on this earth because it is not infinite. 20-30 years from now you will look back on your life and hopefully say you've enjoyed it.

[Thunder Bow]

You are aware of the anxietys. You all ready are on a Good Path. The "easy going" you see in your peers is usually just immaturity. You may just be a more Mature person. Having confedince in Yourself will ease the anxiety and perfectionist in you. Accept yourself as you are.