[resipsa]

I'm not sure I'm even posting in the right place. I'm not familiar enough with the site yet to know, hopefully I will be soon.

I just needed someone to talk to.

My husband is a recovering alcoholic, almost 4 years sober now, and goes to many AA meetings. I'm proud of his progress and supportive. I go to Alanon meetings when I can, but we have 3 kids and one of us has to be home. It seems that my recovery has taken a backseat because there's no actual substance involved. I'm sure I don't speak up enough about that.

In any event, today is our anniversary. We're more or less broke and couldn't afford to do much, so we didn't make any plans. But then he unexpectedly got a Christmas bonus at work today, so got a babysitter to go to an anniversary dinner and Christmas shopping without the kids tomorrow. I was excited, even though it was planned on the spur of the moment.

Less than an hour later, someone from a professional organization to which he belongs (it's an organization for alcholics/addicts in our profession) called and asked if he would be willing to fly with someone who is entering rehab in another state. The person apparently wants to go to rehab but is just having a lot of anxiety and wants someone to go with him on the trip to get there that understands. My husband asked if I would be mad if he went. He doesn't know the guy, but strongly believes that when asked to help, programs like AA can't work if there aren't people willing to say yes. I understand that and I understand why he said yes.

At the same time, I'm so disappointed. I know I sound like a baby even saying that. I want my husband to stay sober, and I'm glad the person going to rehab is going. I don't meant to be selfish and I'm trying not to be. But the voice in my head does say it...what about me?

Now I'm laughing - all this over plans I only had for an hour!

I am weaning off my antidepressant and everything seems pretty magnified, even when I know logically that it shouldn't. I hope I level out soon.

[Leed]

First, why are you weaning off your antidepressant? Are you SURE you should be doing that? It sounds to me like you still have some depression issues. I know that this was an isolated instance, but I'd be careful about the depression. You may still need your antidepressant.

I understand how you feel. This was your anniversary, and you don't get to go out very often. You were excited about going out without the kids, even tho it was a spur of the moment "date" -- it sounded wonderful, and you couldn't wait! I can almost FEEL the excitement!

Then lo and behold, AA butts in and he has to 12 step someone. Well, it IS important, and being a recovering alcoholic myself, you really can't say no. You'd have to have a pretty darn good excuse, like a broken leg. LOL Your conscience just won't LET you say no. If you're really into the program, AA has to come first in order to stay sober. Maybe it's hard for you to understand right now, but these 12 step trips aren't just for the guy who's going into rehab, but they're for the person who's helping him too! It keeps us sober! I've been on alot of 12 step calls, and they did ME more good than it did the person I went to see!

I know that your hubby is going to take you out for your anniversary when he gets back. No, it won't be the same because it won't be your anniversary. But you can "pretend" that it is. He'd BETTER take you out!!! LOL Now you have something to look forward to. I wish you the very best, my friend. God bless and PLEASE take care of yourself! I know this is hard on wives & families. Best of luck. Hugs, Lee