[insideupsidedown]

I am home for the holidays and trying hard not to ruin the festivities for everyone. My life has certainly not turned out the way that I want it to. I had to drop out of a Phd program for financial reasons and now having to deal with the plethora of relatives and acquaintances who are expressing their disappointment that I have not completed my degree. The phrase "pouring salt in a wound" does not even begin to describe how badly this makes me feel. pouring lye in a wound might be a more appropriate description. However, for the sake of my family I have to make nice and pretend that it doesn't bother me. I hate it.... How can people be so unaware that their words are hurtful. How do I survive feeling like a complete loser while outwardly pretending to be happy?

[RunningEagleRuns]

can you talk to anyone you trust about it?

Good luck too. Merry Christmas

[Open Eyes]

When people do that to you, tell them if they are "disappointed" then "they" can pay for it and you will gladly go back and get your phd.

If people are "rude" like that, embarass them right back. And then walk away and say, oh, by the way, Happy Holiday.

Open Eyes

[tigerlily84]

I agree with Open Eyes. I bet they'll be shocked that you dared to talk back to them.

Originally Posted by insideupsidedown

I am home for the holidays and trying hard not to ruin the festivities for everyone. My life has certainly not turned out the way that I want it to. I had to drop out of a Phd program for financial reasons and now having to deal with the plethora of relatives and acquaintances who are expressing their disappointment that I have not completed my degree. The phrase "pouring salt in a wound" does not even begin to describe how badly this makes me feel. pouring lye in a wound might be a more appropriate description. However, for the sake of my family I have to make nice and pretend that it doesn't bother me. I hate it.... How can people be so unaware that their words are hurtful. How do I survive feeling like a complete loser while outwardly pretending to be happy?

same with me... i am home for the holidays too, and 2012 has been 1 hell of a rough year (probably my roughest yet)

pretending is the only thing i can do- in all honestly, i wish december and all it's holiday cheer was banned

how can my friends/ family celebrate the holidays and have a good time, when they know full well they've taken all my support and cheer away, and the only thing i've got is these forums

i'll probably just be here christmas day for most of the day posting- fun, huh

[waynec]

Originally Posted by insideupsidedown

I am home for the holidays and trying hard not to ruin the festivities for everyone. My life has certainly not turned out the way that I want it to. I had to drop out of a Phd program for financial reasons and now having to deal with the plethora of relatives and acquaintances who are expressing their disappointment that I have not completed my degree. The phrase "pouring salt in a wound" does not even begin to describe how badly this makes me feel. pouring lye in a wound might be a more appropriate description. However, for the sake of my family I have to make nice and pretend that it doesn't bother me. I hate it.... How can people be so unaware that their words are hurtful. How do I survive feeling like a complete loser while outwardly pretending to be happy?

first you aren't a loser. you didn't quit. you had a legitimate reason to postpone finishing your degree. this economy is bad and many good people are dealing with unexpected financial issues. second, are they just nosy busy bodies or do they really care? if they are asking because they are playing WHO HAS THE BIGGER... try to ignore them and change the subject. if they are concerned say thank you and be gratiful someone cares.