[messedupteen]

I am a 16 year old girl and I have been diagnosed with clinical depression, BDD (body dysmorphic disorder), general anxiety disorder and social anxiety disorder.

I am basically just one huge mess. Every second of life is agony. I don't know what is wrong with me but I am so...affected by a great deal. I think about suicide all the time and was close to attempting it once before my mum stopped me. There is not an hour that goes by where I don't think of suicide.

I achieved straight A*s in my GCSE exams and was all set to achieve high grades in my A Levels. But with everything I have been achieving poor grades and don't feel any motivation to work hard anymore. My academics used to be very important to me and it has just made me worse. I have exams in June but they cause irrational fear and I feel like I would rather die than sit them.

I was all set to go to a top law school but that is never going to happen now. I am an absolute mess. I am constantly crying and my eyes are always red.

And I know there are people out there worse off than me. Heck I live a very privileged life: well off family, spoiled rotten, receive a private education etc.

But I am just so destroyed mentally. I can't explain it. It doesn't get better at all. I feel like life is going to be a constant pain until I die.

I am too sensitive most of all. Everything just gets to me so deeply it feels like a stab in the heart.

Please help, because I'm one big mess and just at the lowest point. I'm hopeless.

[dailyhealing]

You are not alone, and things can get better. I know, as does everyone here, how painful it can be. And depression and anxiety, in my experience, is not always connected to how things are going in our lives. That is usually just another way to take the blame upon ourselves. It is not your fault. I hope you will continue to post on here!

[Thunder Bow]

With all those dissorders, no wonder you got Anxiety and feel all messed up!. But look at this: You surivived all this and are still going strong disspite it all. You most deffinately have the IQ to make it through all this, along with all the support you will ever need.

So go for Healing and be dedicated to your own Healing. You have many internal and external resouces to do it!

[(JD)]

Wow I know how tough it is to have so much going on and not feeling up to any of it!

You can feel better...tell yourself the truth, that you won't always feel this bad ...

Tell yourself when you feel like giving that THAT is the depression talking. That's all depression knows... you are not your depression, but it's talking to you and telling you lies. Don't believe them.

You can begin to help yourself, if you can try ...you will begin to think and feel better, honest... check out this thread http://forums.psychcentral.com/showp...27&postcount=1

What may have occurred with you is in your struggle to be so great (and you sound great to me in all that you have accomplished already!) you've been hearing negative things and worries. Use the list in that thread to begin to stop your negative thinking (that depression is creating for you) and change your thoughts.

I know how hard this is... and it sounds too "simple" "yeah, right, "just" change what I'm thinking and I'll feel fine"... no, it is a process...but slowly you will win back your thinking away from depression, the depression will lose this battle if you keep one foot in front of the other and continue.

To counter just one of your cognitive distortions, you say about college (law school) "that will never happen"... well, yes, it can and probably will. That's the depression telling you the lie. Maybe you aren't up to it this semester, but you don't have to go this semester... you might need some time to square yourself away... ok? And, lots of people go through college depressed...but they have support and sometimes medication to help them battle it. (It's no fun that way, though..and I suggest you take some "me" time before you try.)

Life is not over. Yes, you want your life as it is now to end, but you really don't want all of your life to end, right? Begin today and make a clean slate of your life and write what you want out of it (but don't put time limits...)... and work towards those things. Talk to expert help (maybe even in the university you plan on going to---they are quite versed in how to help depressed students imo.)

You can make your life what you want of it... yes. Remember not to listen to the lies depression tells you--- that's not who you are.