[gismo]

I have had some really high levels of stress since November last year, my daughter has moved back home with her partner and 2 dogs because her flat had a fire,my mother-in- law passed away, and my son who is 8 with ASD, is being so naughty, he back chats me,winds the dogs up,continually asking me to fetch and carry, will not do as he is told...
I'am at the end of my tether with it all, i feel physically and mentally egshaughted, my confidence is at an all time low , i have never been a passive person but i just have not got the mental strength to get it all all together and disipline him , every body is taking the piss..... please how can i get back on track and find the strength , my weakness is proving my downfall with my family....
i dont know who i'am any more,remote controlled robot springs to mind
sorry it was long.

[nannywoofwoof]

Sorry that you are struggling Gismo. Sounds as if you need some time out for yourself. Your daughter is home and it's the weekend. Is it possible to arrange for her to babysit your son and get yourself out of the house and go and do something that you enjoy even if it is just for a few hours. Or get your daughter to take your son out so you can have the house to yourself and enjoy the peace.
Family life can be so overwhelming at times and so much responsibility and pressure. It sounds as if you are taking on too much when there are others in the house that could help out.
Your son is very young, but not too young that he can't understand that Mummy has had enough. I was very stressed and tired after work on Friday, and then rushing to pick my son up from school. He was quite off with me and I am afraid I raised my voice and said something very harsh back. However, it was soon forgotten, he went to his room, sulked a bit and for the rest of the evening was a delight. What I said to him, gave him something to think about, and it does not hurt for them to see that we are human and not to be pushed and taken for granted.
Sometimes stamping your foot and shouting 'enough' just has to be done for your own sanity. Mothers are entitled to be listened to and to be respected. You are not a Robot. Take care of yourself Nannywoofwoof

[optimize990h]

Hello gizmo! It sounds like you need respite. I don't know what your local community mental health can do for you, but they must have info to point you in the right direction, so you can have a break and re energize. Your post was not long. Sorry, it took me til now to respond to your post.(I hope you had/have a better today.)

[Leed]

Hi dear Gismo -- Bless your heart. Enough is enough, right? And it sounds like you've had MORE than enough. It's bad enough when your kids move back home -- I know, cause BOTH of mine have moved back home. But then when your 8 yr old is sassing you, that's enough to make anyone blow!

First of all, set some boundaries with your daughter & her partner AND the darn dog!!! Make sure THEY have chores that they do and that they get DONE! As long as they're going to live there, they HAVE to pitch in and help!! And if they can, make them pay RENT.

As far as your 8 yr old, he KNOWS he shouldn't sass you. You NEED to punish him. He can't do this. What I did when I kids sassed me was put a bar of soap in their mouths and rub it on their teeth!!! No, they didn't like it, but it did NOT hurt them -- and it made sure that they didn't do it AGAIN. They never did either. They may have STARTED to, but then they remembered mid-sass -- and immediately stopped for fear of the soap. !! It worked beautifully. LOL It does no harm believe me. And they were about your son's age too. So give it a try. It's well worth it, believe me.

You need some time away too. Maybe even a walk in the park, or even better, an overnighter somewhere. But you need some time to yourself! I do wish you the very best, my friend. I know how stressful this must be as I'm living it myself. God bless you Gismo. Please take care of YOU. Hugs, Lee