Feeling extremely depressed, anxious, and worthless!

I suffer from major depressive disorder, bi-polar with depression mainly, and anxiety disorder with social phobias. Ive been like this for 4 years, since 3 days after giving birth to my daughter and I went crazy...suicidal...not homicidal. I was hospitalized and diagnosed with post partum psychosis or severe post partum depression and then full blown bipolar casued by the post partum. I immediately suffered panic attacks daily until being prescribed xanes a month later. All I ever took before this was a mild anti-depressent before my daughter. Now I am on an anti-psychotic med, mood stabilizer, and antipdepressent, all quite high doses and feel worthless, full of guilt and shame and basically petrified to raise my duaghter most of the time because I'm afraid I will screw her life up if I can't even take control of my own life. My mother and husband help me raise her. I feel like a failure as a mom and live with guilt everyday and try my best to be a good mom but I look at other moms and wished my daughter had a great mom like them. She deserves better then me. I am so ddeeply depressed. Is this what my life is going to be like the rest of my life???