[Big Mama]

Ever been alone, liked being alone, but just not wanting to be alone.

I don't know what in the world is wrong w/ me. I want to just lay my head down and cry. I want to rest my head on someone's chest and sigh. I want to be held and told it is ok and believe it will be ok. I want to have the peace and saftey at my fingertips. I want love, not sexual love, just love. A friend, a male to protect me and hold me. I can't begin to explain how badly I just want to be safe. Safe from the world, safe from issues, safe from me. I am lonely, I am tired, I am unheard, no one cares, I want to be left alone, but I want to connect. I don't want to be around people, I don't want to go to the noisy mall, I don't want to hang out w/ a small group. I just want to set alone and cry. I am so tired of being alone though. I know I can't have it both ways. I don't know what I want and even if I did I don't know where I would go to find a friend that cares or a corner alone.

I am sorry I know this makes no since. It makes no since to me and I don't expect it to make since to you either. I just want the world to stop and let me off, just to lay my head down and cry, to have some one who cares and to stop struggling every day.

I don't know what kind of answer I am looking for, I don't know what I want, I don't know anything anymore. I just know I don't like this.

[Travelinglady]

It actually makes some sense to me, Big Mama. Sometimes we just want somebody or some body to snuggle up against and not even have to talk. I know this idea might sound odd, but a therapist suggested it to me when I was alone. Find yourself a big pillow and just hold tightly on to it, pat it, or whatever would make you feel better.

As far as folks to talk to when you want to, we are here--and many of us do understand where you're coming from.

[astenon]

I'm with Payne, although was going to suggest a nice big teddy bear

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so alone Big Mama. However much I wish it was, a on here just isn't the same.

My thoughts are with you. Hope you're feeling better soon.

[allimsaying]

Joining in on the hugging group Big Mama

[Thunder Bow]

You enjoy being alone, don't feel guilty about it. The Warrior that looks out for you and comforts you is YOU!