Parents angry at me for being depressed.

I'm 16 and have been suffering from depression for a while. My parents are mad at me and my relationship with them is not so good anymore.


I basically hid my depression from them. I would go in the bathroom and cry or cry myself to sleep. It wasn't until I was at a very very low point that I reached out for help. The hot line I contacted ended up informing my parents who were enraged.


After the incident which was a few months ago I pretended I was getting better and put a happy mask on. It ended up getting too much for me so I had a break down and talked to a teacher I was close to. She informed my parents who again, were not happy.


Yesterday they caught me upset and my dad started yelling at me. Calling me selfish and ungrateful. I have two younger brothers and he said too much time is invested in one child (me) and if a parent had three children like me they would be su-uh-si-dul (don't like typing the word). Because I'm from a fairly wealthy family they think that because I have many materialistic goods I'm being ungrateful and shouldn't ever be unhappy. But I'm unhappy for so many more reasons.


He says I brought this all on myself and my parents just aren't fond of me anymore.


They don't understand. I've tried so hard. I can't help feeling this way. I'm sad for deeper reasons. And I don't understand why they keep accusing me of being selfish and 'me me me' when I do my best to hide it from them and hid it from them for a long time. I didn't want them to suffer but they resent me for it.


It just makes everything worse when your parents pretty much hate you. Please help me to cope.

Very shallow of them to expect their providing you with materialistic goods to make you happy. Oh, how shallow!

Given that the family is wealthy, what they need to spend the funds on is your treatment.

I know it is easier said than done...

Wow sounds like your parents are being the selfish ones here...I don't really have much advice on what to do. Sounds like you need help with this but something confidental...a therapist can't tell your parents what you say in therapy sessions, but then your parents would have to be willing to pay for it which not so sure they would be.

Do you have any close friends or family that you trust enough to talk to about this, and wont go to your parents right away? I mean by acting this way about it they are only preventing you from getting help I would hope they realize that eventually.

im sorry your parents are so misunderstanding... i dont know what your deeper reasons are for being depressed but i do hope that you get better and that you can overcome your depression

Unfortunately, I went through a very similar situation when I was your age.

Also unfortunately there is nothing you can do to change their opinion or attitude. The only thing that got me through was that it wouldn't be forever. You won't live with them forever and they won't be responsible for you forever.
I know that my grandparents (who I grew up with) just couldn't have possibly understood what I was going through and that they didn't really want to deal with it.
Even now, 11 years later, they still only want to hear from me or about my life if things are going well.

I wish I had some more specific advice but just hang in there.

This is just horrible.

Honey, I felt EXACTLY the same as you're feeling when I was your age. My parents were not wealthy. I also hid my feelings because I knew there was no way I could get any help. I cried all the time at night, but I hid it cause I had to share my bedroom with a sister.

I had been depressed for years by the time I was your age. There is what is called "clinical depression" and that's when the chemicals in the brain are lacking and you need an anti-depressant to replace them. Trouble is, you have to keep taking it forever. At least that's what my doctor told me. So I've been on an antidepressant for about 40 years because if I get OFF it, I slip into an AWFUL depression. I've been in therapy too -- once for a very long time, and a couple of other times that didn't last too long because I didn't need it. That's what the therapist said anyway. LOL

It does sound as tho you do need therapy honey. First, to get to the issues that have you SO depressed. And secondly, to determine if you ARE clinically depressed. I hope not, but you need to find out.

Yes, your parents are being selfish, and by bawling you out they're making matters SO much worse. This is NOT your fault!! Giving you material goods will NOT make things better, and that's not what you need or want! They just don't "get" it.

Perhaps if you let them read this thread, maybe they would understand. Do you think you could do that? Do you think they'd be willing? I'm not trying to disrespect your parents at all -- but they need to understand that depression is NOT something to push under the rug. It CAN be very serious and at your age especially. It needs attention!!! And a therapist IS called for. So why not see if they'll read this thread. At least others agree.

Please take care honey, and let us know what happens, will you? We really care. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

Your parents sound emotionally abusive.

Money does not equal happiness and it wouldn't surprise me if it touched a nerve when you show just how wrong they are.

You are NOT ingrateful. If they are so wealthy, the should be happy to pay for the needed therapy and medication for this very real medical condition. Sheesh.

And being that you have nothing to lose, can you tell the counselor the results of her disclosure to your parents?

I know it sounds cliche, but hang in there. It gets better and you will soon be independent. The day you leave, I am willing to bet will be the same day you will feel a fog lift from all around you.

http://www.outofthefog.net/CommonBeh...rbalAbuse.html

Don't feel responsable for your parents problems and reactions. They seem to have more problems than you have!

Your parents are seriously misinformed about depression. I'm so sorry they don't understand and aren't more supportive! I'm middle aged, and it hurts me terribly that my folks don't understand or offer any help, so I can just imagine how much worse you probably feel, since you are younger and still living at home.

Many people mistakenly think that depression is something that we can control. They believe that if we would just think positive or try harder, we would be OK. Sadly, this includes family and even close friends. I was told by one friend to stop "wallowing in self-pity." My family totally ignores my depression, and my mom insists it's just my hormones. It is very upsetting when people just don't "get it."

You could try to educate your parents by giving them some printed information about clinical depression. Maybe if they learned more about it, they would realize that it's an illness and is not your fault. Whether they accept it or not, I would encourage you to find some support for your depression. Untreated, it can be very serious.

A psychiatrist can help determine whether you need medication to control your depression. A therapist can help you work through the issues that are making you sad or causing problems in your life. Perhaps seeing a school counselor for awhile would help. Is it something you could do without your parents knowing? Also, Web sites like this can be supportive, as well as in-person therapy groups. Some of these are free.

In addition, seek out relationships with people who can be upbuilding, accepting, and non-critical about your depression. If somebody doesn't understand and is critical toward you because you are depressed, don't allow it to make you feel bad about yourself. There are many well-meaning people who just don't understand what depression is or how to help a depressed person. Because of this, their efforts to "help" sometimes cause more pain.

Hang in there! We're here for you.

What an awful thing to say I am so sorry that they reacted that way. It's good that you decided to post here but I hope you can also open up about your feelings to a counselor or a therapist. Perhaps you could take your parents along to a session. The counselor could facilitate between you and your parents. hugs

Leave it to parents to say the worst things.

Selfish? Like it's fun having depression? Yea we have it because it is fun.......... If they had a kid with a physical illness would they tell it it is too demanding as well? Actually some do....

Their loss when you are grown in a few years and they wonder why you don't stay in touch....

I'm very sorry for the hurtful way your parents are treating you.

You mentioned on another thread that you have been diagnosed for clinical depression, body dysmorphic disorder, general anxiety disorder and social anxiety disorder. I suppose that you saw a doctor or therapist to receive those diagnoses. What if one of those doctor(s)/therapist(s) talk to your parents? Or, as the case may be, talk to them again--and explain things to them? With your depression and suicidal thoughts it is very important for you to receive help.

I am literally in the exact same position as you, except I suffer with an eating disorder instead of depression and my dad doesn't let me speak to teachers or anyone anymore after my teacher rang him and he got angry. I don't know what to do.