I don't belong

This happened to me a few days ago and ever since I've been feeling constantly anxious, or like I don't belong anymore. It's actually made me want to transfer schools to be closer to my family so that maybe I will fit in better there. If anyone could give me their thoughts or opinions, that would be great.

Okay, so my friend (J) and sister (Q) and I all decided we wanted to go to this night club in the cities for St. Patty's day. I drove Q there with me and we met Jesse there. I spent a lot of money that night (for clothes, gas, and parking without any help from Q). When we got to the club the line was down the street and we ended up waiting in line for an hour and a half. (I didn't want to wait that long, I suggested we do something else but they both didn't want to). By the time we got to the front, J and Q could get in the club, but I couldn't. So they went in to dance or whatever and I went back to the car and waited there. After about an hour I decided I would try to do something else, but the only way I could get out of this parking lot was to either give him the ticket I received when I first parked(which Q had) or pay 15 dollars. Well my sister didn't respond to my texts so I had to pay the fifteen dollars to get out. I was supposed to meet a different friend of mine a couple miles away, but by the time I got there J called me and told me to come back and pick up Q. (Even though J drove there also and could easily drop Q off at home). So I never ended up meeting with my friend and had to bring Q home right away. I was a little snippy with them because I was upset and they *****ed at me about that.

So, do you think it was alright for my friends to leave me in the car while they had fun? Was I justified with being upset with them or should i not have been snippy? Any other thoughts?

So there's another part to this story. Me and J are roommates and we go to the same college. The college Q goes to was having their spring break, so she decided to come visit us for that week. I told her on the way home that I was leaving the next day and that she would have to have J drive her up. (which is easy for her because it is on the way from her house). The day after I get back to my apartment I get a text from J that said 'Thanks for not telling Q you were going back to -the town I live in-. Now I have to go to her house to get her. Think of someone else for a change.' Now that pissed me off big time. But I decided to keep my cool and just simply tell her that I did tell Q that I was going home(because I did). But she didn't believe me, basically calling me a liar. I didn't want to start anything so I didn't say anything back.

So what do you think about that? I'm still pissed off at both of them. Should I just let it go, or tell them how I feel? Am I wrong for being pissed off? Lastly, all of this has made me want to transfer. I'm supposed to live with them both next year, but honestly I don't want to live with friends who don't give a crap about me. I want to transfer and hopefully make real friends at my new school. Thoughts?

Sorry for the long post and thank you to anyone who read it all and comments.

Don't put your trust in them but you can still hang out with them. Seems like you just need to get over it, because **** happens..and your family has the ability to affect your emotions the most, so it seems like they hurt you the most. Live and let live.

I think that your feelings are completely understandable. I would be ticked off if my friends left me out in the cold too. I don't know what to make of the spring break incident. That could have been a miscommunication - she didn't hear you or something - but calling you a liar is pretty uncalled for, and that would tick me off too. I don't know what you should do about this, particularly.

I do agree with you that you've been treated badly here. I would say something about it, personally. They were being jerks. I wouldn't transfer schools over just that, however, just because that is such a major decision and I'm sure you could find new friends at your current school.

your friends are certainly not what i would expect friends to be, they should not have left you alone waiting in a car whilst they were inside having fun. they were not copnsidering your safety or feelings at all.
it seems to me as though they are just using you, please learn to say NO, you have no responsibility to either of these people, and in all reality your sister (i am guessing she is older than you) should be the one looking after you, taking you places rather than the other way round. where, when and why you go where you choose to go is none of their buisness, you do not have to check in with your sister over your movements if you choose not to, you are an adult, and with that comes the rights of freedom, thought and choice. if you want to schoufer your sis around then tell her you will only do it if she pays for the petrol and parking before you set off, if she refuses then tell her to get a cab and then you drive away!
as for transferring, if you are hapy at the school you are at appart from these two upsetting you, then it seems daft to transfer, would it be possible to talk to your mentor/tutor/scool councillor type person about you swapping residence so you are not sharing with these two. or would a chat with your parents help, they may be able to talk to your sis and get her to stop using you for her benefit or help you find some other residence for next year.

just remember you can choose who to keep as a friend, you can't choose your family but you can choose the contact you have with them.

I don't want to transfer schools just because of these two. I don't feel like I fit in at my school, and my friend was the only thing keeping me here. Next year I was supposed to live with my sister, that friend, and another girl (that I don't like). So I don't really see the point in staying anymore. Two of my other friends live in the city that the school I want to transfer to is in, and they both have proved themselves to be great people. I think I mentioned this already, but I would also be closer to my parents (about half an hour away versus nearly two hours away).

So I have a little bit of an update. Q and J tried talking to me, and instead of apologizing, said they didn't do anything wrong. They told me it was my fault that I stayed in the car and that it was my fault they talk behind my back. (because I stay in my room a lot) Any more thoughts would really be appreciated. This whole situation is tearing me apart.

How about something along the lines of their behavior being totally thoughtless and inconsiderate beginning with the club situation. Does that help? Because that is what their behavior was and if it's typical of them then that is how they are. Honestly I can't imagine doing what they did at the club. Going into a club and leaving a friend or relative to wait in the car is just wrong. I don't think you should let them treat you like that and then try to convince you that you're at fault. Q is your sister so you're pretty much stuck with her but the other one is not a friend and yes I would get out of that ASAP.
I had to go back and edit what I really wanted to say

Thanks I just really wanted to make sure I wasn't freaking out for no reason... they were starting to convince me that it really was my fault and they didn't do anything wrong... I mean, I did volunteer to wait in the car, which they were fine with. I just didn't want to ruin everyone's night I guess.

No, it wasn't your fault... go back and read what you wrote For me...if I had friends who chose to go into any place and leave me behind, they would be walking home and they would have one less friend and I would consider myself lucky to have gotten to know what they are really like. The rest of it would never had happened. That isn't how friends treat each other

It does seem like you are not setting your own course but letting them rule what you do/don't do. You went back to the car when you couldn't get into the club and then decided to go do something else but came back for your sister. When you were in line and wanted to do something else (besides stand in line an hour and a half to not get in!) you should have said, "see ya, I'm going such and such a place", gotten the parking ticket from your sister (why did she have it if you were driving?) and gone and done whatever. You make a decision but then change it back based on what they think when they aren't thinking of you.

Whether your friend/roommate believes you told your sister you were going home or not, you know you did (and your sister knows you did) so that's that. You say, "You're welcome!" when she texts you a snippy "thanks for not telling your sister and making me go pick her up. . ." and maybe, "When are you all going to get here?"

I would try to make a few more friends, join an interesting club or something at school. I understand about only knowing a few people and being shy; I did the same had the same 2 friends only from high school and the one roomed off campus with other people, didn't ask me, etc. I wish I had tried harder to live my own life but I kept to myself also. Think longer term; when school is over and you are working or dating, etc., those two aren't going to be there in the same way, whether you or they want to be. I would try to get a broader base so the transitions are easier? If you have your "own" thing, a club or some interest they are not part of, that can teach you how to adjust to your own life circumstances more comfortably as well as maybe furnish you new contacts in an area where you are more compatible. If you love to read rather than go clubbing, there's nothing wrong with that/you, but you might be more comfortable and have less difficulties if you are in a study group or library setting instead of sitting in the car by yourself. Yes, you probably need to "get out" more but probably not with these two, on their turf?

Since that whole incident happened, it was really tense at my apartment and I felt like no one wanted me there. I cried whenever I heard them talking about me behind my back. I decided to drop the issue and let them pretend that everything is okay, but I'm still hurt by their actions and don't trust them any more. I'm definitely going to transfer and hopefully make a new start.

Sounds like the best way to handle a bad situation. It would be pointless to keep it up because they would never admit it was their fault. You're right...you don't belong there Good luck