[mcler663]

Hey all.

I'm hoping someone here has some solid input about what I'm dealing with, or at least someone who can relate. I will start off by saying that I am by no means depressed or anything. I'm 23 years old, work two jobs full time, have a loving girlfriend (who is leaving for a month and that may be bothering me more than I realize and not helping my situation). I have gone to university in the past to be an accountant but dropped out due to lack of interest.

Right now I am very unmotivated for some reason. I used to be very fit, spend six days a week working out, but I destroyed my rotator cuff about 10 months ago. So obviously I had to stop going to the gym, but I have been cleared to go back in the past three months, however I have just not wanted too. I used to take it very seriously, and it was a big part of my life, but I just don't care. My apartment is becoming a mess, I stopped making my bed (I'm usually a very clean person), I haven't wanted to do any cooking (normally something I love doing), and have just been downright feeling... off. It feels like my personality is changing. I feel myself becoming less and less patient about the most mundane things that normally wouldn't bother me at all. I have become short with my girlfriend when it really isn't necessary (although I just found out she was going away next weekend with a bunch of friends and she neglected to tell me until yesterday. Apparently it's been booked for awhile. She has also committed another weekend to the same group of friends before she leaves, while she doesn't seem to want to commit to me taking her to the mountains for a night.. Very weird as she keeps claiming she cant get more time off but keeps booking things with other friends. I do plan on asking her about this when I can, but this has only added to my lack of motivation etc).

I just feel very weird. I had applied for my local cities fire department this year as that's what I'd ultimately like to do, and I didn't get in because I'm an idiot and forgot to submit a document. This is obviously bothering me, but my knowledge of this came after this weird feeling started, so it can't be the cause of the whole thing.

I should mention that about a month ago I moved into a new place, as things weren't working out with my old place. I now live with two women (I rent out the owners basement. It's a bungalow, so I have limited area and don't have a full kitchen; which is probably creating the lack of wanting to cook lol). However there is a dog here that is beyond annoying, and apparently I am very allergic to it as I haven't been able to breathe since I've moved in and my eyes are on fire even when I'm not at home. I just don't feel comfortable here either. I feel very intrusive on their lives and the lack of privacy is starting to bug me (I don't have a door into my own personal space, just a set of stairs).

I'm hoping that my living situation is what's really bugging me and a new place is all I need. The fact I can't breathe from allergies is likely just affecting my brain function haha.

I guess I just needed to vent, but I'd still love to hear what anyone has to say. Sorry this is so long!

[Thunder Bow]

You may be Developing Clinical Depression. See your Doctor. Also your life style is getting you down. It is time for a change. It may just mean taking a walk every day, or a complete make over such as moving away to another location and starting over.