[Fleury29]

Why is it that I am always in trouble, over the littlest thing, and if anyone else does it it is ok? Everything is wrong with what I do, and I'm tired of being confused about how to interact with people.

[Neptune83]

What is it you're in trouble with and what is it that you do wrong?

[sandworm]

I REALLY GET THAT. sorry you have so much to struggle with Fleury. hugs

[Perna]

Sounds like someone cares enough to notice/worry about you. It is hard to learn how to interact with people, can be very confusing!

[Rusty9]

What kind of trouble? Who is saying everything is wrong with what you do? How do you know "if anyone else does it it is ok"?

[Fleury29]

I don't know, no one will tell me, they just tell on me instead. All I can figure is something I am doing is looking like something else, but since no one will tell me what, I'm left with the vaugeries. That is why I am so frustrated. I can tell that people don't like me, but no one will tell me why. I'd be more than willing to change whatever it is, if I knew what it was I know this is a confusing post, but I'm really confused and don't know how to word it in a better way.

Could it be that you always follow the rules, dot your i's and cross your t's, eat all your dinner BEFORE you have desert, say yes and no, please and thank you....and others don't and that frustrates you?
Also, a little more info like an age range (unless you would like to give your age, but like are you a teen, 20's 30's etc) might also be helpful to understand your plight. You sound an awful lot like someone I know.

[Rusty9]

How can you tell no one likes you?

[Fleury29]

I'm in my early 30s. My particular problem is that I very quickly get the "creepy" label, and once you have it it apparently never goes away. I've tried various things to try and not be what gets me the label in the first place, but nothing seems to work. At first I just thought it was the people where I worked, but more and more I've realized its a good many people, in other places so it must be something I am doing wrong, but I do not know what. Could it be something as simple as I can't look people in the eye when I talk to them, so I have to look anywhere else? I just want to feel like I am treated like everyone treats everyone else.

[Rusty9]

You keep avoiding my questions. Statistics are important. How many people have told you you are or look creepy? I want a number from between 0 and 100. After I know that I might be able to suggest something to help you feel less confused.

[uncreativeartist]

I am confused on what exactly is the problem? Is it people are saying you are creepy? Or are you imagining people are thinking you are creepy?

[Perna]

Fleury, do you have a relative or at least one friend/acquaintance that you can talk to in real life? They would be able to tell you more about your behavior and why you get labelled "creepy". Being online we can't see you or judge your mannerisms to see what seems "off" or not?

If you suspect how you don't look at people might be a problem, check it out. Practice looking at people when you talk to them? Start with people you aren't too worried about, store clerks and the like that you won't necessarily ever see again. Do you have a supervisor at work? Can you ask them how you come across to other people and what the supervisor might suggest to improve your behavior/work relations?

If you have three eyes or some other gross physical defect or something, that might frighten others (their response/fault, not yours). If that is the case you might have to deliberately talk about it with another you wish to befriend and let them get to know "you" and your interests and get past your physical looks.

[Thunder Bow]

You are Projecting to much on others. Slow down realax, be yourself.

[Hapalee]

I think I know what you are trying to say--you try to do all the right things, sometimes things you do get misinterpreted by others. Others do things with no real good intention, sometimes deliberately, and no one bats an eye? You feel as though you can't get away with what others can for some reason and it makes you frustrated. If that's the case, I get it, I have felt that frequently throughout my life as well.

[healingme4me]

Well, not looking people in the eyes, certainly sounds like a good start to practicing working on those changes you mentioned you'd like others to point out to you, so that you can. Looking people in the eyes, denotes honesty, usually, and not looking people in the eyes does make it difficult to build solid relationships.

Are people vocalizing this word to you, or is this a self-created label?

As far as getting into trouble, and everyone else doesn't seem to be? How is your perception about how others handle criticism? How do you handle criticism?

Originally Posted by Fleury29

I'm in my early 30s. My particular problem is that I very quickly get the "creepy" label, and once you have it it apparently never goes away. I've tried various things to try and not be what gets me the label in the first place, but nothing seems to work. At first I just thought it was the people where I worked, but more and more I've realized its a good many people, in other places so it must be something I am doing wrong, but I do not know what. Could it be something as simple as I can't look people in the eye when I talk to them, so I have to look anywhere else? I just want to feel like I am treated like everyone treats everyone else.

[Fleury29]

I've only overheard one person say it, and they were talking about me quite literally when I was 5 feet away and could hear them say it. People are always talking about me like I'm not there or don't notice. And people don't apparently like the fact that I have good hearing. Is it eavesdropping if I'm at work, I'm 5 feet away, they won't talk to me, but they talk about me. I'm supposed to sit there staring at the ground while they say bad things about me. Oh and if I'm sitting there staring at the ground I'm supposedly doing something that begins with an M word. Don't know how that started. (Don't know if I can say the word on the forums, but someone accused me of it and all I was doing was staring at the ground). And this person accused me in a tone of voice like whatever I said the answer was yes. Can you understand why I'm confused? I can't talk to people without saying the wrong thing. I can't not talk to people without being accused of things I've never done or thought about doing at work. I want to quit, but everyone everywhere treats me this way and I don't know how to make it stop. In class there was this lady with hair that was blocking what I was trying to read on the blackboard and I kept trying to move so. I could see it, but apparently that is staring at the back of her head. Nobody tells me what I'm doing wrong, they just complain about it to everyone else. If they'd tell me what I was doing wrong, and told me how I could fix it. Instead of telling on me for things I wasn't doing then I'd gladly fix whatever it was. Yet people will tell their friends, their coworkers, even the professor or the boss, but never bother to tell me how to not offend them. So lately I've decided that I'd start turning in all the little things they're doing to me. Since they won't play nice I won't either. I'm tired of being walked on. I shouldn't have to be accused and found guilty without the slightest chance to prove myself innocent. Edit, it's partly a problem of why I seem to be in more troubke than most people for nothing more than me just not understanding social situations. And partly me being confused because it seems like everything I do is a reason for people to kick me in the teeth.