This is really irritating.

Ok so I think I've probably mentioned on this forum I live at my moms house with her, her boyfriend and my youngest brother. Anyways though I recently got out of the psych ward I am considering going back and part of the reason is my moms boyfriend. There are other reasons to, meds aren't helping as much as I was hoping for, my depression is still just terrible I have more financial stress still trying to get on financial assistance, medicaid and eventually SSI.

Anyways the issue with my moms boyfriend is he generally gets on my nerves and doesn't know when to shut up and leave me alone. He always notices little things like a phone not where it should be or this or that and will go on and on asking everyone who did what with it, who set what where and on and on. He thinks he gets to walk around irritated with a scoul on his face and its perfectly acceptable but gets on people about simple little things like leaving a cup on the table and gets way way defensive when anyone points out he's having a bad attitude and turning everything negative.

But yeah he never lets up, he knows damn well I am dealing with a lot but still wont stop trying to bring little things I have no desire to stress over to my attention. Such as where a phone I haven't used in months is(its the one that goes in the kitchen which I did not remove) that he already asked me about twice this week. I tell him 'no I don't know where that is, or who left what out then he'll ask me about the same things the next day. He does it to my mom and brother to so its not just me.....but I try to get some peace at home and its really hard with him b*****g and complaining all the time, getting after people. Or getting defensive when anyone even points out that perhaps he could mellow out and that his negative attitude is apparent then he uses the entire house as his personal office for work which I guess he does work from home but he'll be screaming as though he's lost control(over whatever stupid thing they are arguing about) at my mom then pick up a business call and be perfectly fine and friendly so this does not seem like behavior he can't control.

I just have enough to deal with without that problem of my moms boyfriend...If I do have to be admitted to the psych ward again maybe I can get some help learning to deal with impossible people. Does anyone else have someone they have to put up with that they wouldn't if it was up to them? Even having my own place and just having to see him sometimes when I visit my mom would be a nice improvement.

Ugh that sounds sooooooooooooooo frustrating! Especially when you have issues you're trying to deal with yourself. he sounds very insensitive and very blind to the fact that you are going through a tough time. Have you tried picking a time when he's not on everyone's case about something insignificant (if that time ever comes :P) and just sitting down and talking to him? Or maybe it would be best to talk to your mom and sit down together with him? In a way, it may almost seem like an intervention because he obviously has problems himself that he's not not dealing with.

There is no talking to him unless you want to listen to him get defensive and then start yelling and screaming.

Sorry to talk about someone I don't even know but honestly he sounds... difficult. That's the nicest way I can put it. It sounds like one of those situations you just have to endure until you can get out of it... not change it. I hope you can get out of it soon. It's hard enough to recover without living with someone who brings discord into your life.

If he wants you to "be a man," he's got to stop treating you like a child. You don't live for him. If he wants you "out of his hair," he's got to allow you the space to find your own footing. If he wants you to fail, don't let him win.

He needs to give up trying to teach you how to obey his orders. You are past that phase and have much bigger and more important burdens to deal with in your life. If he's not interested in helping you, he needs to back off. If he's interested in helping you, he still needs to back off - but he can take that time to learn how to effectively communicate with the people living under his roof - in particular, you.

My husband and son used to "lock horns" on occasion. Even I had some "spatial problems" with my son when he returned from the war. I think it's a natural part of life. But if you're going to live together under one roof, you've got to get along. Life is hard enough "out there."

My son now lives nearby, and I see a huge difference. He does not depend on us, and we don't depend on him. He knows the burdens we carry, and he worries about us. We know the burdens he carries, and we worry about him.

I'm sorry you have to deal with such a difficult person. You shouldn't have to walk on and clean up his eggshells - you've got enough of your own. I can imagine your mom must be exhausted as well.