[Brina2013]

So I am having an issue which I've talked to a few people and they told me it is normal. I've never had a normal or stable relationship with any man in my life. My father basically abandoned us when I was a small child, we moved in with my grandfather who mentally and emotionally abused me. Spent most of my life in a relationship with a man who mentally and emotionally abused me and a few failed relationships that ended as quick as they started. Six months ago a man I have been friends with for over 7 years and I decided we would start seeing each other and where it went. We are currently living together. He is a wonderful man he makes me so happy and is very good to me and my children. But I often find myself very sad b/c this is what I have wanted for so long but I am terrified I'm going to lose it. How is it possible to be so happy but the happiness is making me sad? I have so many erratic emotions. I love him and he's great but the fear of losing him makes me sad to the point I want to do nothing but cry. I just don't understand what is going on inside my head. I understand that b/c of my past I'm afraid to lose this happiness but is it really to the point it saddens me greatly. I just don't get how I can be so happy, scared, and sad all at the same time.

[Thunder Bow]

Your Fear is Rooted in what happened to you when you were a child. You seem to be aware of that. Thus you will heal as long as you know the fear is more of a memory, than a reality.

[Brina2013]

I know its more of a memory than reality but it's like these memories are constantly causing me problems because they surface and I get tangled up in these emotions that tend to cause me to become self destructive because of the fears they place. It is rather irritating most of the time.