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Old Nov 17, 2013, 01:57 AM
PeachCream22's Avatar
PeachCream22 PeachCream22 is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2013
Location: The Happy Place
Posts: 232
I was born to have bad temper. My whole family is bad tempered. We snap at each other like crocodiles and yell at each other for simple requests and fight almost 24/7. The funny thing is, all the fights mainly involve my mom. Sibling fight with mom, me fight with mom, dad fights with mom, etc. She works very hard around the house, but I'd like it if she'd be a little more polite about it?

"TAKE THE TRASH OUT AND DO SOME VACUUMING, YOU HAVE TIME TO WATCH TV, GUESS YOU DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO WASH THE DISHES, I'M WORKING, I'M TIRED, MIND HELPING OUT A LITTLE BIT?" i know it's kinda normal, but it can get wearing after listening to this for about 10 years now. And it's not like we don't help her when she calls us to, and sometimes we do DO the chores on our own. And then PERHAPS we'd get a little peace. Not talking. No yelling. That's as close as we'll ever get.

The thing is, how do you stop being impatient, or angry, or snap at others? How to cure this bad temper? how do you control it? I've only included that little bit above about my family cause I'd have thought it's relevant. If it helps, my dad gets drunk half the time and loses his temper with my cranky mom. My older brother and sister argued all the time when my sister was living with us, but now she's moved out due to work. But my mom sort of replaced her with extra noise decibels. Yay me. I'd be lying if I wasn't guilty of the above, but yeah, that's what I'm here for.

Any opinions, advice, feedback, insight, sharing of story, etc is greatly appreciated.

Last edited by PeachCream22; Nov 17, 2013 at 01:58 AM. Reason: Spelling error
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  #2  
Old Nov 17, 2013, 01:05 PM
Thunder Bow's Avatar
Thunder Bow Thunder Bow is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2012
Location: Arizona
Posts: 5,630
Know that there are alternatives to the family dynamics you born into. Your family danymics was imprinted on you, thus it's feelings are the 1st thing that comes to mind when relating to others. I think you know there are many other alternative ways of relating to others.
  #3  
Old Nov 17, 2013, 11:46 PM
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Travelinglady Travelinglady is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 49,212
I know what you mean. I think the key is to try to learn to think--pause--before responding instead of a knee-jerk reaction.

I'm thinking of the "counting to ten" idea, for example. Count to ten before responding to something. Or take a break, such as saying something such as "I need to go to the restroom" and walk out of the room. Go "get some air."
Thanks for this!
PeachCream22
  #4  
Old Nov 18, 2013, 02:09 AM
Bowian Bowian is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2013
Location: Az
Posts: 2
I have been a rager for a long time. I have been through many tragedies and also deal with PTSD, depression, anxiety . One of the hardest things I have found is to see that the person i am so mad at has issues as well and I am mad cause they either are don't understand or is just being mean. Think they have no right to be mad cause I am right. Now with that in mind I have learned to stop for a second when I am mad and ask, Do understand or am I being the same way to them. How can I be mad at them when they have issues. It is like looking at them as myself and giving the same rights and understanding as I am demanding.
Thanks for this!
PeachCream22
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