For about 20 years, I've been facing an issue with my emotions. How exactly to explain them would be to say...during my teenage years I had the usual teenage angst. However, along with that teenage angst, I've held a deep hatred for two things, that I still hate even today. My father, and...as little sense as it makes, love itself. Since then, I've become very empty in my emotions. I never faced them or righted them, and only recently have begun to feel them again. It's triggered by seeing others in love, I suppose as I've entire forsaken it in myself.

I'm coming to soon be 30 years old, and somewhere in my mind wish to find more in life than being alone forever. The reason I'm writing this is because...though I wish to find love, I have no idea how. I have no idea how to resurface the necessary emotions without feeling so angry and so lost.

I know it isn't really something anyone can help with, that I have to solve it for myself. I guess I just...want help.

Thanks for any replies this gets, I appreciate it.

[dpcrew]

I don't have any real advice to give, other than to say that you aren't alone. I've struggled with similar issues and the only thing I've found that helps me is to find things (big things, passions) to pour myself into. If I can engage myself in something I love doing I seem to have less time for the dread/loathing for others and other areas of my life. Also, seriously, really limiting sugar intake (of all things) helps me get out of funks. Appreciate your open and honest post, things will get better.