[indigo1015]

I feel so depressed tonight... although the cold I have may have something to do with it, I'm convinced that my depression is mainly due to how I feel regarding the way people treat me. I feel constantly like nobody sees me, nobody is willing to take an extra second to consider how their actions will affect another person... namely, me. Nobody is willing to put a little thought into what they do or say. If it's not my roommate, who thinks so highly of herself that she offers me "advice" when I haven't asked her for it, it's the woman who reamed into my car last week, causing damages that will take 2 weeks for the Honda place to repair. She was charged and her insurance is paying for all of it, but it's still a huge inconvenience to me. Or, it's the guy who filled out my VIN verification form incorrectly, so the DMV wouldn't let me get my car registered. Yes, I can go back and get a new form, but when? I work and go to school, I don't have time for this. Or, it's a fellow student who doesn't see anything wrong with just sitting her *** down in my face and spewing all her issues to me, even when it is clear that I am busy studying or doing homework. Or, it's the psychiatric center that I use, that scheduled a vital appointment for me, one that I desperately need, the only one available this whole month, at the same time as a mandatory doctors' meeting there. I made the appointment over a week ago, and they don't bother to call and tell me they've cancelled it until this afternoon. And I need it so badly, and they are absolutely my only resource.

Does anyone realize how all this makes me feel, this lack of consideration or thought? It makes me feel unseen, unwanted, inferior. Like I don't matter to anyone. Like I'm an afterthought. And worst of all, no matter how polite I am, if I make even the tiniest objection, they get mad at me. How dare I stand up for myself when they are being inconsiderate jackasses. And everyone wonders why I hate people. Everyone wonders why I'm depressed. THIS IS WHY.

[Thunder Bow]

You need to start depending less on others to get things done for you, or to solve your problems. You may not "Desperately" need that appointment after all. Be more self supportive and trust yourself to find solutions to your own problems.

What you need is a Crisis Warrior to protect you and give you support, and solve your problems for you. You can not find that warrior in the "Psychiatric Center" or any where else. For You Are That Warrior!

[SilverNeurotic]

Having the victim mentality will get you nowhere in life except miserable. Take control of the situation.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[indigo1015]

No, I DO "desperately" need this appointment - my meds may be affecting my liver, and I need a doctor to decipher my bloodwork for me and to tell me what to do next. Also my Lithium levels from my last bloodwork were low, and my GP wants me to talk with a psych about how to handle that. And I am not relying on others to solve my problems for me, I just don't see why, when I do need a helping hand for a good reason, people can't do the job right the first time.

Originally Posted by Thunder Bow

You need to start depending less on others to get things done for you, or to solve your problems. You may not "Desperately" need that appointment after all. Be more self supportive and trust yourself to find solutions to your own problems.

What you need is a Crisis Warrior to protect you and give you support, and solve your problems for you. You can not find that warrior in the "Psychiatric Center" or any where else. For You Are That Warrior!

[indigo1015]

It's not a victim mentality, it's a pissed-off mentality. I just don't understand why, when I have to be dependent on someone else, they screw up, whereas if they are dependent on me, I can't screw up at all.

Obviously, my post is not clearly understood...

Originally Posted by SilverNeurotic

Having the victim mentality will get you nowhere in life except miserable. Take control of the situation.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[indigo1015]

To clarify, because obviously it is unclear to people why I am upset...

... I am not asking for other people to wave a magic wand and fix things for me. I'm an adult, have been for many years, and even when I wasn't, I knew the world doesn't work that way. What I am upset about is being dicked over by everyone, when I feel I have no right to reciprocate. I don't know why this post is so difficult for people to comprehend, but I am trying to explain further. It is no crime to merely expect that people do their jobs fully, and they aren't, at least not with me. All I ask for is basic consideration, and when I don't get that OVER and OVER again, I get angry... then upset... then bitter... then depressed. So don't tell me to be a warrior or accuse me of a victim mentality, because none of that comes into it. I want what everyone wants, which is a fair shake.

Originally Posted by indigo1015

I feel so depressed tonight... although the cold I have may have something to do with it, I'm convinced that my depression is mainly due to how I feel regarding the way people treat me. I feel constantly like nobody sees me, nobody is willing to take an extra second to consider how their actions will affect another person... namely, me. Nobody is willing to put a little thought into what they do or say. If it's not my roommate, who thinks so highly of herself that she offers me "advice" when I haven't asked her for it, it's the woman who reamed into my car last week, causing damages that will take 2 weeks for the Honda place to repair. She was charged and her insurance is paying for all of it, but it's still a huge inconvenience to me. Or, it's the guy who filled out my VIN verification form incorrectly, so the DMV wouldn't let me get my car registered. Yes, I can go back and get a new form, but when? I work and go to school, I don't have time for this. Or, it's a fellow student who doesn't see anything wrong with just sitting her *** down in my face and spewing all her issues to me, even when it is clear that I am busy studying or doing homework. Or, it's the psychiatric center that I use, that scheduled a vital appointment for me, one that I desperately need, the only one available this whole month, at the same time as a mandatory doctors' meeting there. I made the appointment over a week ago, and they don't bother to call and tell me they've cancelled it until this afternoon. And I need it so badly, and they are absolutely my only resource.

Does anyone realize how all this makes me feel, this lack of consideration or thought? It makes me feel unseen, unwanted, inferior. Like I don't matter to anyone. Like I'm an afterthought. And worst of all, no matter how polite I am, if I make even the tiniest objection, they get mad at me. How dare I stand up for myself when they are being inconsiderate jackasses. And everyone wonders why I hate people. Everyone wonders why I'm depressed. THIS IS WHY.

[Perna]

It sounds like a lot of different things are not going well for you, I'm sorry. I do not think they are connected though. The person did not hit your car deliberately, thinking, "Gee, wonder how I can inconvenience Indigo1015". If I get forms filled, I always try to remember to check them before I leave; I don't know if you know your VIN number but it's extremely long and complicated; I know I have a heck of a time typing in my home network ID number when I get a new piece of hardware or new computer (26 characters and letters) and often have to do it a couple times. No one is deliberately trying to upset or inconvenience you but everyone makes mistakes. I do not think people are being careless, or inconsiderate, they just made a mistake. Most people interact with quite a few other people each day, especially people in customer service. It is unfortunate when we get these little things going wrong one after another, isn't it? Especially if you are not feeling that great with your cold Hope you are feeling better soon.

[indigo1015]

Thanks :-) The only thing I would say regarding the verification form is that the guy actually got that right, that is not where he messed up. He did not put the right things in the right sections. I suppose your principle still applies.

Originally Posted by Perna

It sounds like a lot of different things are not going well for you, I'm sorry. I do not think they are connected though. The person did not hit your car deliberately, thinking, "Gee, wonder how I can inconvenience Indigo1015". If I get forms filled, I always try to remember to check them before I leave; I don't know if you know your VIN number but it's extremely long and complicated; I know I have a heck of a time typing in my home network ID number when I get a new piece of hardware or new computer (26 characters and letters) and often have to do it a couple times. No one is deliberately trying to upset or inconvenience you but everyone makes mistakes. I do not think people are being careless, or inconsiderate, they just made a mistake. Most people interact with quite a few other people each day, especially people in customer service. It is unfortunate when we get these little things going wrong one after another, isn't it? Especially if you are not feeling that great with your cold Hope you are feeling better soon.

[Thunder Bow]

It is Your Choice! Being a Warrior means double checking things that you or others filled out. Being a Warrior is telling those who get get in your face to Bug Off. Or better yet, finding a study place where you will not get interrupted. Being a Warrior means seeking another Doctor or Center if the current situation is not working out. Being a Warrior mean staying centered and not panicking. Be aware of what is happening around you.

[Beau_Duc]

Heya indigo1015, I do understand this, especially the part where it certainly is cool when other PPL screw up, but OMG you're the sorriest sack of crap to come down the pipe if YOU make a little boo-boo..... I cal it PPl having double standards, I know BOTH at my job and family/friends life I get rode hard if I mess up or over look something. It's like Im held to a higher standard, high expectations than others. Im that 'easy target' guy that gets run over a lot, I suppose Im a push over somehow.... Im trying to figure this all out right now, its one reason Im here. But, anyway, as much as it does suck for my bosses/friends/family/neighbors to expect more o fme than they do themselves, and to come down harder on me than they do others for the sme things, it has made me smarter, and strengthened my resolve. I wont let em win.

I hope I have understood you right, because I sure feel like I do, and sure feel just as you do, that I too, am one of those folks who 'dont matter' to others. When someone meeses up my order, repair job (yes, i have literal examples of things just last week like you had happen) people dont care at all. Why? Because evidently I do not matter at all... Hey, I dig that, I am no one elses boss or parent, so.... other people, be they a mechanic, a waitress, my boss, or a co-worker simply disregard me, and if Im put out or inconvenienced somehow, tough cookies to me! It does anger me, and like you, it swiflty becomes depression. And no, I rarely fight back, because on the occasions I've stood up for myself, it only made things MUCH worse, and I get ganged up on by more PPL and just created a bigged mess for ME TO deal with.

I've about decided that some folks are just meant to be door mats, and I'm evidently one of them *hugs* cause I feel ya on this

EDIT: Sry bout the victim thing too, it sucks when someone says you're just being a victim. I know you're not. Im certainly not.... Im just trying to figure this all out, and how best to deal with it. Im searching for a therapist myself now, Im currently not seeing one, to help with my depression/anxiety/self esteem issues. We'll get there

Originally Posted by indigo1015

It's not a victim mentality, it's a pissed-off mentality. I just don't understand why, when I have to be dependent on someone else, they screw up, whereas if they are dependent on me, I can't screw up at all.

Obviously, my post is not clearly understood...

[indigo1015]

Thunder... teling people to bug off has NEVER worked in my favor, it only makes things worse. And there IS NO OTHER CENTER that is in my vicinity and that I can afford. This is the way things are for me right now, I understand that you are trying to help, but in turn, YOU need to understand the realities of the situation. Maybe I should be more centered, but guess what? I'm human too, and if I feel the need to be pissed off just to let off steam, in a way that is not harmful to myself or anyone else, who are you to tell me no? And I think that, judging from the length of my original post, it's pretty clear that I'm very aware of what is happening around me.

Originally Posted by Thunder Bow

It is Your Choice! Being a Warrior means double checking things that you or others filled out. Being a Warrior is telling those who get get in your face to Bug Off. Or better yet, finding a study place where you will not get interrupted. Being a Warrior means seeking another Doctor or Center if the current situation is not working out. Being a Warrior mean staying centered and not panicking. Be aware of what is happening around you.

[JorDonniefan]

Originally Posted by SilverNeurotic

Having the victim mentality will get you nowhere in life except miserable. Take control of the situation.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

How can I take control of my situation without me thinking that I am going to get in trouble? That is my main problem right now.

[Thunder Bow]

Originally Posted by indigo1015

Thunder... teling people to bug off has NEVER worked in my favor, it only makes things worse. And there IS NO OTHER CENTER that is in my vicinity and that I can afford. This is the way things are for me right now, I understand that you are trying to help, but in turn, YOU need to understand the realities of the situation. Maybe I should be more centered, but guess what? I'm human too, and if I feel the need to be pissed off just to let off steam, in a way that is not harmful to myself or anyone else, who are you to tell me no? And I think that, judging from the length of my original post, it's pretty clear that I'm very aware of what is happening around me.

You Choice. Anger is Ok. But also anger can be a shield. Are you a professional at being pissed off? Sound like you are.

[indigo1015]

Originally Posted by Thunder Bow

You Choice. Anger is Ok. But also anger can be a shield. Are you a professional at being pissed off? Sound like you are.

I'm just trying to make it through this. Excuse me if I vent a little on here -- sorry, but I thought that's what this was for. I have no one else to vent to, and I am seriously close to losing my grip. I try to be positive and proactive and all that ****, but frankly, there seems to be no point.

[Thunder Bow]

This is a good place to vent. I do listen with my heart, and that's why I am saying what I am saying. You can get things done for yourself. More than you are currently knowing.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by indigo1015

No, I DO "desperately" need this appointment - my meds may be affecting my liver, and I need a doctor to decipher my bloodwork for me and to tell me what to do next. Also my Lithium levels from my last bloodwork were low, and my GP wants me to talk with a psych about how to handle that. And I am not relying on others to solve my problems for me, I just don't see why, when I do need a helping hand for a good reason, people can't do the job right the first time.

Can, they consult, via phone, and decipher without you being physically present in the office? Were they able to reschedule a new appointment for you, after all, their mistake for booking you during an unavailable time. Can't they prescribe, something different, before you get back in?

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by indigo1015

I feel so depressed tonight... although the cold I have may have something to do with it, I'm convinced that my depression is mainly due to how I feel regarding the way people treat me. I feel constantly like nobody sees me, nobody is willing to take an extra second to consider how their actions will affect another person... namely, me. Nobody is willing to put a little thought into what they do or say. If it's not my roommate, who thinks so highly of herself that she offers me "advice" when I haven't asked her for it, it's the woman who reamed into my car last week, causing damages that will take 2 weeks for the Honda place to repair. She was charged and her insurance is paying for all of it, but it's still a huge inconvenience to me. Or, it's the guy who filled out my VIN verification form incorrectly, so the DMV wouldn't let me get my car registered. Yes, I can go back and get a new form, but when? I work and go to school, I don't have time for this. Or, it's a fellow student who doesn't see anything wrong with just sitting her *** down in my face and spewing all her issues to me, even when it is clear that I am busy studying or doing homework. Or, it's the psychiatric center that I use, that scheduled a vital appointment for me, one that I desperately need, the only one available this whole month, at the same time as a mandatory doctors' meeting there. I made the appointment over a week ago, and they don't bother to call and tell me they've cancelled it until this afternoon. And I need it so badly, and they are absolutely my only resource.

Does anyone realize how all this makes me feel, this lack of consideration or thought? It makes me feel unseen, unwanted, inferior. Like I don't matter to anyone. Like I'm an afterthought. And worst of all, no matter how polite I am, if I make even the tiniest objection, they get mad at me. How dare I stand up for myself when they are being inconsiderate jackasses. And everyone wonders why I hate people. Everyone wonders why I'm depressed. THIS IS WHY.

Some people just suck. Some are inconsiderate. Some are incompetent. Some people, have no idea, how their words and actions, leave others feeling.

Just remember, however, lots of how we react to things in the here and now, are just echoes from days long, ago.



Hope you get your car situation, straightened out. As far, as standing up, for yourself, how dare them, not expect you to!!

[winterglen]

Though I don't know what your mental illness is, most of them interfere with the way you see the world. It can make things that might not be a big deal to someone else (like asking someone to be quiet so you can study) can be overwhelming to you. It sounds like you've been having a stressful time, and though I'm sure you logically understand that these people who had screwed up aren't deliberately trying to ruin your life, the fact is that these things have made your life somewhat harder to manage at this moment.

It's good that you are looking for constructive ways to deal with this stress and anger (like posting here). You were able to vent, so what can you do now? Try taking it one thing at a time.

[indigo1015]

Exactly how do I register my car all by myself? Or diagnose possible liver problems all by myself? Are you even aware of what you are saying???

Originally Posted by Thunder Bow

This is a good place to vent. I do listen with my heart, and that's why I am saying what I am saying. You can get things done for yourself. More than you are currently knowing.

[indigo1015]

Ultimately, yes, they rescheduled the appointment... it was on Friday, and I think we're getting somewhere at last :-) [/I][/U]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Can, they consult, via phone, and decipher without you being physically present in the office? Were they able to reschedule a new appointment for you, after all, their mistake for booking you during an unavailable time. Can't they prescribe, something different, before you get back in?

[Thunder Bow]

Originally Posted by indigo1015

Exactly how do I register my car all by myself? Or diagnose possible liver problems all by myself? Are you even aware of what you are saying???

Do you know what you are saying? I always have registered my car by myself, in person and online.

I am in good health. But when I need to see a doctor, I do that myself as well.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((( indigo ))))))))))

[indigo1015]

You don't know my full situation though, so why on earth are you acting like you can tell me how to live my life? I moved to a completely different state, so yeah, I actually needed to go into a DMV to get my car registered. I did not have the luxury of doing it online or by myself. And even if I had the time and the money to see all the doctors that I probably should see, the question of availability still arises. Wake up and realize that not everyone is like you.

Originally Posted by Thunder Bow

Do you know what you are saying? I always have registered my car by myself, in person and online.

I am in good health. But when I need to see a doctor, I do that myself as well.

[Beau_Duc]

Originally Posted by indigo1015

You don't know my full situation though, so why on earth are you acting like you can tell me how to live my life? I moved to a completely different state, so yeah, I actually needed to go into a DMV to get my car registered. I did not have the luxury of doing it online or by myself. And even if I had the time and the money to see all the doctors that I probably should see, the question of availability still arises. Wake up and realize that not everyone is like you.

I've been away from the forums for several days (week or two maybe) for various reasons, and just got back on here, this was a thread I was following as I understood how you seemed to feel and are being treated. Just dropping back in to say I hope that You're doing well, indigo, and that other folks havent been bowling over you still recently. Hugs and best wishes friend.