I can't take anymore control

I am controlled by everyone in my life- at work (told what to do all the time and yelled at if I do it wrong) . I live with my 70 year old parents who belittle me all the time, give me evil looks, and yell at me all the time. They send me to my room in front of my kids.

My teen punched me in the face today because she didn't get her way. I am afraid of her now.

I take antidepressants, have depression, anxiety, and want to die.

I can't do anything. I have no money, and no motivation to even go back to school or anything. I am 45 years old and have nothing and no one. I have NEVER had anyone to depend on with something attached or some control behind it.

I could not confide anything to my ex husband, he controlled me also and used mind games to mess with. if he knew I wanted something he purposely took it away, so I got to point of pretending I didn't want something so I could get it. He is a complete loser and I get no help or support from him!

I have resorted to sleeping with married men to get attention.

I am sorry that you are in this position. I know that not having much control is tough. Are there smaller ways that you can gain control, such as writing a journal the way you want to or deciding what your child must eat for dinner? Can you talk to your parents about their belittling behaviors? You said your teen punched you, is this normal behavior for her? Maybe she needs to see a school counselor. I apologize if I am overstepping boundaries.

Sorry to be so blunt,but you have to DO something
about this! You see,your life,is YOUR responsibility! You need to stop people,including
your parents,from putting you down and degrading
you. It CAN be done,because I did it! So I know
what I'm talking about. Here's a quote I have stuck
up in my kitchen wall: "You get the behavior from
people that you are willing to put up with without
protest--YOUR SILENCE IS CONSENT!!!"
If you keep allowing this,it will simply go on for
the rest of your life.
Courage To You,
BLUEDOVE