can't stop taking myself seriously

I'm so sick of people telling me that I take myself too seriously. In my mind, I'm never pushing myself enough, never doing well enough to meet my own expectations, and then there are people telling me that it's okay, it's good enough, and I just want to scream at them.

It's not okay. I'm not good enough. Taking myself seriously is one of my biggest strengths and also one of my greatest flaws and it frustrates me so much. I expect so much from myself and when I can't meet those expectations (which is a lot) I come crashing down. I know that I am so much better than this but for some reason I never really feel like I'm ever at my full potential. It makes me so mad.

- AJ

Forget all those culturally imprinted "Shoulds" and "Musts", and just be yourself. Be what you like being, and forget what others may think about you.

Out attitude toward ourselves at first is learned from how other's respond to us. Sounds like someone else told you you weren't good enough for them and instead of questioning it you went along with their program. Who are you competing against that you have to be better? You cannot ever beat yourself, you are yourself! If you want something you try for it and get it, but whether you barely get it or get it over the top. . . getting it is the goal and no one really cares how (unless it is illegal :-) Once you are in college, your high school grades don't matter; once you graduate from college your college grades don't matter; once you make your first million, you're just working on your second million

I'm taking a class right now and not getting the grades I expected but I realized that I am learning what I wanted to learn and I like my papers, even if my tutor does not, etc. Don't forget that Einstein flunked high school math; his teacher had no clue. You are the right size, it is the pants that don't fit. You should be working for and enjoying yourself, not beating yourself up because of some presumed exterior standard you don't meet.

Thanks for the replies and I understand the points you are trying to make... but it is not a "presumed exterior standard" that I'm not meeting, it's an interior standard.

- AJ

An "Interior" standard that was imprinted on you, with out you being aware of it. Some thing you picked up through experience, and not aware of your interior conclusions.

You "interior" standard is some thing that is imprinted on you, with out you being aware of it. It is an internal conculsion you made, as a result of experience in family, and imprinting by others and society.

This can really be hardwired, a part of you that you are born with---(I remember, and still see though they are grown, being amazed at the personalities my children came out of the womb with that have stayed with them through life...we are not born a blank slate)--I also think being able to acknowledge this part of you is a great step, especially if you can let others know "this is me", and smile.
All I can really think of doing is creating a space within which you are "allowed" to be silly, not the "best" etc. (or in which you are allowed to laugh---bet there is a stand up comic out there with your expectations of self that has learned how to use the pain for humor...) I guess I am thinking you might take up doing something a few hours a week that you put apart from the you so serious...
(Haven't tried it but I hear, really, that laughing yoga is a stress-buster---
or a "sport" you can fall down in and laugh about...
You need, methinks, a place to PLAY for a few hours...

My parents constantly treat me like I'm still 10 yrs old as if I can't and won't do anything for myself. Would that be a contributing factor?

- AJ

Yes, a big factor.