[RichardBrooks]

Okay, so I seem to be at a loss here. I was talking to a friend the other night about a recent breakup (we were engaged and living together, i was and still am devastated). This particular friend and I dated for awhile in college, but we just wanted different things, so it didn't go anywhere, but she's my best friend today.

Anyway, I was doing the usual mopey whiny "why doesn't she love me?" bit, and my friend said "I don't know. Why don't you love me anymore?"

Okay, I know she was just making a point, but I couldn't answer her. The thing is, I think I still do. On one hand, of course I love her, she's my best friend. But I'm talking about romantic love. So is this something I've been carrying with me deep down all these years? Is it something new? Or am I just trying to fill a vacuum left by my ex-fiancee?

I realize only I can answer these questions, but how do I go about figuring this out without cluing in my friend and possibly losing her too?

[arachnophobia.kid]

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss and your confusion, it's such a strange time after a break up and I can relate.

6 months ago and I went through a phase similar to what you are describing after I had just gone through a break up. I too was considering whether or not I still had feelings for past lovers and I would get confused about my feelings upon meeting new women.

Whether or not this is what you are experiencing I don't know, but regardless, here is what I think:

Because the break up has left you are in a very vulnerable state you are also in no condition to be trying to figure out your feelings for other women. Be patient and time will tell you if these thoughts about your best friend/ex lover are thoughts worth having. For now I think it'd be best for you to keep it out of your mind until you've healed from your break up.