Want to kill my teacher so badly

I'm so sorry. I know I said no more negative threads, but I must address this.

When I was younger, I took piano lessons from my mother, as well as piano lessons from someone else. I was SO nervous about making mistakes in front of her, and when I did make a mistake, I would start crying. My mother, instead of being supportive, asked me in a condescending tone "why are you crying? do you cry all the time, in front of your real piano teacher?"

This might not seem abusive to some, but I had special needs back then. I was oversensitive, and I just needed some proper caring, not mocking of my emotions. Incidents like these contributed to my low self worth and fear of failure.

Anyway, it just so happens that my music teacher acts EXACTLY like my mother. He harasses students whenever they make mistakes, and belittles people. Everyone lets it slide, because he has good intentions, and he's passionate about music.

But all I want is to really hurt him back.

Has anyone had experience with hating someone so much like that? How did you deal with it?

I would get a new teacher and tell him exactly why

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Sorry, I forgot to mention that he was my FORMER music teacher. I don't have him anymore.

Then do your best to move on. No point in dwelling, nor is it healthy.

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I had that problem, wanted to smash my fist down my stepmother's throat for most of my later teens/twenties. Therapy helped me with that.

I never felt I wanted to harm anyone but I certainly get very emotional for the same kinds of reasons as you. I'm glad you're no longer with that music teacher.

I would address my feelings in letter as to how it makes u feel as a human being, everything else aside regardless what the event lesson or act is, we all deserve to interact in peace as long as we aren't threatening.... your desire to kill is a product of you holding on to the cruel hurtful words , release them back to the offender...but tell them what they are doing and how it effects you....it's your right...then ad footnote.... telling them you choose as a person not to take that form of abuse.

It's interesting you made the connection to your Mom and this other human being, your former music teacher.
Addressing these thoughts of anger and how it overflows from your past, is something that could prevent further persons, who'll probably speak like that, from harm.

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