[jack1357]

Hi! Just wanted to ask you for advice.

Due to inner feelings, non-logical thoughts about different things and situations like:

• not being good enough to do something I would like to do,
• feeling that I've lost some time in my youth,
• feeling of being too old to do something I want,
• feeling of stagnation

I often can't:

• focus,
• socialize,
• maintain good mood,
• keep depression away.

How do successful, optimistic people keep these emotions out?

Do they mute them with high-focus work or try to control them?

For me the former seems to work from time to time, latter is not very possible. How do I maintain optimism, hope and motivation in (mental/environmental/social)prison cage-like conditions?

Thanks

I think an important part of successful people is that they have learned to accept the fact that what is in the past is finished so they can fully dedicate their time to the present and future. I know a lot of my time is eaten away my regret when I'm particularly down. But regretting things often doesn't help and so the best option is to not let your past mistakes stop your future self. It's definitely tough but the most important part is to change the way you think. I know a lot of people find it useful to repeat affirmations to themselves. But the rest is really just practice in situations. It takes a long time but building self-esteem and acceptance for who you are is one of the best things you can do for yourself. And with that will come hope and motivation.

Best of luck!

[avlady]

i also have a problem with the past. i don't know how to get the negative things out of my mind, especially when i go to bed, my mind just automatically turns into negative mode and i tell myself i have to forgive or else i will go nuts. i don't know how to get rid of the past, but want to try too like you others here so would also appreciate a post on how to think positive and stay that way.

[blackdogpie]

I congratulate you on your honesty in admitting that the past does bug you, and that it is hard to let go. So-called successful people often do live their lives in a whirl of work and outward accomplishment without ever living a truly examined life.

I don't think you need to change yourself, you just need to figure out where, in all that you are going through, is the "gold". I am convinced that there is gold in all this misery-- it's a matter of finding it.

Does that make sense to you?

[BLUEDOVE]

Hi Guys,
Please do selves a favor and get this book:
"Self-Compassion" by Kristen Neff. It is now my
secret weapon no matter what's going on!

[Thunder Bow]

You can't avoid depression by distraction, or pretending. Therapy is the only way out of serious clinical depression.