[winterglen]

At least this trigger doesn't have anything to do with eating disorders.

Some people on another forum were commenting on an article about a guy with mental problems who was acting out and saying hateful things. His behavior was not appropriate by any means or anything I would condone, but some of the comments others had posted really riled me up to defend him.

They were giving the usual jabber about how he acted this way because he thought he was better than everyone else, that he was special and exempt from the rules. I've been in a similar situation to him: angry at the whole world because everything seems so difficult for me while it's so easy for everyone else. I've been on the receiving end of such opinions. "You must think you're so special and so great. If you want people to like you, why don't you try to be normal?"

I've never thought I was better than anyone or too good to follow the rules. On the contrary, I grew up believing I was an inferior, stupid, disgusting freak. I felt that people were attacking me for things that I had no control over. I felt like there was something wrong with me because I didn't understand the things other people understood. I wanted all the rejection, confusion, and hurt to stop, but I didn't know how to stop it.

I didn't think I was too good to follow the rules: I just couldn't figure out what the rules were. I couldn't figure out why other kids could diss me and get away with it, but if I dissed them, I got in trouble. I couldn't figure out why people would feel sympathy for others but disgusted with me. Why didn't I deserve their sympathy and respect? Why couldn't I be good enough to join in with the other kids? Why was life so easy for everyone else but so hard for me?

I didn't become this way because I was treated like I was better than anyone else. I became this way because years of rejection, criticism, and exclusion made me feel worthless and distrustful and resentful of everyone who got the kindness and sympathy I wish I had. I became defensive because everyone seemed to want to think I chose to behave this way, that it was so easy to earn everyone's respect and approval.

I can understand that a lot of my behavior was inappropriate, but I did it because I didn't know any better -- not because I enjoyed making other people feel miserable. I know I'm self-centered, but maybe it's because I have to fight harder to let my true feelings be heard than most people do. It's hard to care about other people's problems when your own seem too overwhelming, and everyone else seems to be doing much better than you: I can understand feeling that maybe you can feel that you need help more than that other person does.

I may be projecting too much my own feelings, but I hate the way that everyone assumes the worst about this boy who seems angry and desperately longing for the acceptance and approval that everyone else seems to have.

[gayleggg]

I was an aide in Special Ed. There was a little boy that was in my class. We never new what he was going to be like on any given day. Somedays he was good and seem to be really catching on and then the next it's like he lost it all and would act up in class. On many occaisions I had to take him to the principals office. One day I was particually upset with the boy. The principal taught me something that day that I will never forget and that you never know what happens to a child once he leaves the school and until he comes back.

I really learned I can't judge someone because I don't know there circumstances and why they might act up in a certain way.

I have learned from being bilopar that I may be different on different days. I've been judged because of it, too.

I, too, hate when people judge others without knowing their circumstances

Thanks for comments. It sounds like a valid reason to be upset.

Originally Posted by winterglen

At least this trigger doesn't have anything to do with eating disorders.

Some people on another forum were commenting on an article about a guy with mental problems who was acting out and saying hateful things. His behavior was not appropriate by any means or anything I would condone, but some of the comments others had posted really riled me up to defend him.

They were giving the usual jabber about how he acted this way because he thought he was better than everyone else, that he was special and exempt from the rules. I've been in a similar situation to him: angry at the whole world because everything seems so difficult for me while it's so easy for everyone else. I've been on the receiving end of such opinions. "You must think you're so special and so great. If you want people to like you, why don't you try to be normal?"

I've never thought I was better than anyone or too good to follow the rules. On the contrary, I grew up believing I was an inferior, stupid, disgusting freak. I felt that people were attacking me for things that I had no control over. I felt like there was something wrong with me because I didn't understand the things other people understood. I wanted all the rejection, confusion, and hurt to stop, but I didn't know how to stop it.

I didn't think I was too good to follow the rules: I just couldn't figure out what the rules were. I couldn't figure out why other kids could diss me and get away with it, but if I dissed them, I got in trouble. I couldn't figure out why people would feel sympathy for others but disgusted with me. Why didn't I deserve their sympathy and respect? Why couldn't I be good enough to join in with the other kids? Why was life so easy for everyone else but so hard for me?

I didn't become this way because I was treated like I was better than anyone else. I became this way because years of rejection, criticism, and exclusion made me feel worthless and distrustful and resentful of everyone who got the kindness and sympathy I wish I had. I became defensive because everyone seemed to want to think I chose to behave this way, that it was so easy to earn everyone's respect and approval.

I can understand that a lot of my behavior was inappropriate, but I did it because I didn't know any better -- not because I enjoyed making other people feel miserable. I know I'm self-centered, but maybe it's because I have to fight harder to let my true feelings be heard than most people do. It's hard to care about other people's problems when your own seem too overwhelming, and everyone else seems to be doing much better than you: I can understand feeling that maybe you can feel that you need help more than that other person does.

I may be projecting too much my own feelings, but I hate the way that everyone assumes the worst about this boy who seems angry and desperately longing for the acceptance and approval that everyone else seems to have.

I totally understand where your coming from in many ways! It seems so weird when "normal" people hear what I say if I am asked why I don't talk to them. My response normally is that I feel more comfortable and myself around people who are not "normal" Mostly mentally/physically disabled people, because I do not feel judged and it shows me that I am not alone in the struggle of things.

Having a physically/Mentally disabled brother and also having problems of my own, I grew up the "hard" way so to speak. Now days I don't even bother for acceptance and approval of "normal" people so to speak. Just certain people in my family.

One of the problems I have to this day, which I think I might always have is trying to make everyone happy but myself in my family. For example, I do something and my father says he is disappointed in me, I crumble. My family can say that are extremely angry or mad or what have you at me and I don't really care. But for some unknown reason they say the word disappointed and I will crumble like a house of card in the wind.

[Thunder Bow]

Forget wanting acceptence and approval from others. Accept your self first. If you don't, you will never feel accepted.