[PianogirlPlays]

I am up to my ears in pain from hurts and some not so helpful decisions. I think each of my family members have contributed . Things that feel rejecting create big time anger in me. I unfortunately have been trying to keep everyone happy. I try so hard to be nice and continually good . I don't tell them how I feel so it builds up. I feel like I have rocks inside me. It seems too late and bad timing to try now. I keep trying to let it be behind me but I get reminded and it all pops back up. Really caught and stuck and people are coming this week end . I am not sure I have pretending left in me. Don't want to ruin anything either.

[Frankbtl]

Hi PianogirlPlays, Why the too "late" and "bad timing"? What makes their "happiness" more important than yours??
Maybe you want it all to go away, and stay in the past, but it at least sounds like you need some sort of "closure" for that to happen, or even just a chance to really make people understand how they've made you feel? And if they're not getting how you feel then maybe they aren't understanding how wrong whatever they did was for you. I'd say that they deserve to know.
Maybe they didn't mean for what they did to effect you this way and they can help you with the way you're feeling, maybe they need to recognize the consequences of what they've done, maybe they need to be shown the consequences of what they've done. But you shouldn't have to bear this alone. You shouldn't have to make everything "right" for them, when it isn't "right".
And you know if there's no resolve you can make with them, then maybe it's time to re-evaluate your relationship with them, and make a little more distance between you and them, if it's hurting this much/costing you this much to be as close to them.
I'd say that it's time to stop "acting" though, even if only a little for now? Your feelings are real and don't deserve to be dismissed, they matter, you matter.
Alison

[Fuzzybear]

[PianogirlPlays]

I did better than I thought I would but not resolved . I agree with litte by little .

[Informinator]

That feeling I am all to familiar with mostly with family visits. My apologies you have the same experience.