[manxcatwoman]

I've noticed over the yrs. that it's when I feel extremely angry that I can't find my binge food fast enough. The type of food changes over the yrs. but I always go back to soft choc. granola bars. Maybe it stimulates all my senses since I see, smell, hear, touch and taste them. I can get as many as I want because they're cheap and small enough that I can hide them in my bedroom. It's amazing how fast they calm me down almost to the point of feeling numb.

This time around it will have to wait til tomorrow since I'm not going back out today. It won't help when I try to talk myself out of it. Once I've made up my mind to get them to relieve some anger, I have to or else internally combust. Maybe I've conditioned myself that it's the only way to stuff my anger down --even if I'm not angry anymore.

I really don't care right now and I won't care tomorrow or the next time. I have to have a way to control my anger and this is the safest way--I suppose.

[glok]

Hello, manxcatwoman. I wish you well.

[Open Eyes]

Have you been able to trace "where" your anger is coming from?

[manxcatwoman]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Have you been able to trace "where" your anger is coming from?

A lot of it stems from my childhood especially when I realized my mother wasn't who I thought she was. I was seven and that's when my depression began.

I still have to see her and pretend (for her sake )now that she's older. But she's still extremely vain. She must have a narcissistic personality.